


and the concerns of man

by light_loves_the_dark



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: A Continuation of Flynn Wanting To Call Eve His Wife Without a Courthouse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I know right?, Marriage Proposal, Mostly a Continuation of Eve and Flynn's Character Development, Nicole is Good in This, Post-Canon, Prophecy, Protective Flynn Carsen, Romance, Some Plot, Team as Family, The First Chapter is Post 3x10, What I Would Want in a S5, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/light_loves_the_dark/pseuds/light_loves_the_dark
Summary: “I know you will choose to tether, Eve. But think on this: you and I have and will know the Library better than Judson or Flynn.”“The Library loves Flynn,” Eve argues, “more than it will ever love me.”I’m not talking about love, Colonel," Charlene retorts. "I’m talking about understanding. The Guardian and the Library are protectors. We are distinct from the Librarians. To make the right choice, you can’t just choose to be with the Librarian. You must choose to be with the Library.”aka i wanna explore the following exchange from s4e6:nicole: the idea of losing the Librarians terrifies you because without them, who would you be?eve: you're right. i'm scared i'll be alone.
Relationships: Eve Baird/Flynn Carsen
Comments: 57
Kudos: 70





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> i'm backkk. 
> 
> this is what i would want to see post season 4 as far as character development - it's also me attempting to continue a subtle plot point used in the show - that eve seems to have a remarkable destiny, and there is no direct mention of flynn sharing that same destiny. will this break your heart? maybe. but it has a happy ending i promise.
> 
> also featuring: the cassandra's irritation at not being involved in the important conversations, nicole being Good, charlene being annoyed with both eve and the library, and ezekiel's love of pizza.

“ _ when the gods made man, they kept immortality to themselves. _

_ fill your belly. day and night make merry. _

_ let days be full of joy. _

_ love the child who holds your hand. _

_ let your wife delight in your embrace. _

_ for these alone are the concerns of man. _ ”

\- The Epic of Gilgamesh, unknown

**prologue**

The Annex has never been more sober than it is the day they farewell Charlene.

The younger Librarians are quiet, almost nervous. They never really knew Charlene. For them, she has lived through Flynn’s fond, disorganized stories, through the weighty gaze of Jenkins when her name comes up in ledgers and notes. 

If Eve is honest, she knows her feelings for Charlene are more similar to theirs than Flynn’s or Jenkins’, but Charlene is a Guardian too and there’s a bond in that. There’s strategy and fight in their veins, and even more, there’s a certain quality of empathy - of perception, that her Librarians lack. Eve knows that Charlene has cut through to the heart of her first Librarian, and likely many of the other charges that have passed through the Library’s doors. Just like Eve knows the souls of her Librarians and of her Caretaker. 

Just like she sees Flynn’s heart, bleeding and broken as his sharp eyes follow Charlene’s last words of advice to her younger charges, who each nod firmly in reply. 

In fact, Eve has a hard time keeping her eyes and mind off her Librarian as Charlene comes to stand in front of her. She’s already devising the best method of comfort to employ after this - after all, she also needs to hit him with the truth of DOSA without him losing his mind. 

But she owes Charlene her attention, so she refocuses as the older woman greets her with a fond smile and a single word that encapsulates everything: “Guardian.” 

Eve smiles despite herself, her posture straightening subconsciously in respect. “Guardian,” she replies.

But Charlene has no use for respect, taking Eve by the slope of her shoulders and pulling her into a quasi-embrace. Eve almost returns it, but then Charlene speaks:

“You will win, and when you do, find me at the Tree of Knowledge,” she murmurs. “Don’t tell the others.” 

She pulls back, giving an encouraging smile to Eve, who tries to hide her surprise as Charlene walks over to her Librarian. At the morose look in Flynn’s eyes, Eve pushes Charlene’s whispers to the back of her mind; right now, she needs to be there for her Librarians.

Later, she will figure out what Charlene meant. But watching Flynn and Jenkins as they see a woman who has meant so much to them both pass from their vision for the last time, the secret already begins to eat at her.

-

After the fall of Apep, there are more logistics to figure out than anyone would like. The day after the last artifact had been put back into place, the morning after Flynn and Eve had retreated to their apartment for twelve hours to remind each other that the other was safe and alive, they come into work with their hands tightly clasped. 

When Flynn finally releases her hand, Eve’s gaze drifts to the Library doors. There’s a promise she needs to keep, and she’s not sure when she’ll get the best opening. 

So when Flynn makes his way to the head of the table, she moves to lean against their desk, keeping a good seven feet between them. Step one: stay away from her boyfriend, who is the most likely candidate to spot a lie. “Now,” he announces to the room, Librarians slowly peeling away from the stacks to gather around the table, “a list of things that need to get done. Jenkins?”

“Yes sir,” Jenkins agrees, stepping forward. “We need to do a final review of the catalog; the artifacts are all returned, but we did not complete the final check yesterday.” Though he appears disgruntled about the lack of work done the day before, Eve had watched him gently carry Cassandra to Ezekiel’s car when she had fallen asleep on Baku’s pillow. She knows that he’s just relieved they’re all safe, although getting DOSA out of the Library and out of their lives is his number one priority at the moment. 

“On it!” Cassandra exclaims, raising her hand. 

Jenkins nods, giving her a small smile. “We also need to clear out the rubble from the catacombs, and someone needs to make a run for supplies. Also, safety checks on Apep’s sarcophagus are imperative” - here, he nods to Flynn - “Sir, I assume-” 

Flynn waves his hand. “Yes, yes. Stone, take Ezekiel for food and medical supplies. Then you two can start on the catacombs. Eve and I will -”

Step two: do not let said boyfriend volunteer them for a task together. “Actually,” Eve interrupts, “I have something I need to do.” Seeing ten curious eyes flick over to her, she shakes her head. “We shouldn’t end this all on a bad note with DOSA; I’m going to call Rockwell and smooth things over.”

Ezekiel scoffs. “That doesn’t sound shady at all,” he quips. 

Flynn narrows his eyes. “Hey,” he warns. “Watch it.”

Jake steps in to defend Ezekiel, and Eve adds another item to her list. Step three: do not allow Flynn to be separated from the others because he’s defending her “betrayal”. The last thing she needs is more in-fighting than she already has to deal with on a regular basis, so she straightens her shoulders. “Flynn and Ezekiel will run the safety checks,” she cuts in, and her tone brooks no argument. “Jake and Cassandra will do a run for supplies before they help Jenkins catalog. Capiche?”

Both Ezekiel and Flynn look ready to fight this, but Eve gets an unexpected ally in her Caretaker. “Done, Colonel,” he agrees, staring down her charges until all four of them exit the room. 

“Thanks,” she says, giving him a brief smile before turning to the Library doors. “I have some notes to gather in the Library, so-”

But before she can disappear, Jenkins stops her with a gentle hand on her arm, a far cry from the chokehold he held her in yesterday. But the memory still causes her to tense, as well as the memory of Flynn carefully tracing her bruises last night as he made love to her, eyes dark and intense and pained. She hadn’t told him they were created from friendly fire, and she doesn't intend to. 

“I gravely misjudged you yesterday,” he says lowly, “even if it was your intention to deceive.” An apology is unnecessary; from the way he can’t meet her eyes, she knows he is still dealing with the guilt of laying a hand on someone he considers family. He pauses. “That is the only reason I allowed you to lie just now.” He releases her arm. “I heard you on the phone with Rockwell last night,” he clarifies. “I know things are…  _ fine _ … with DOSA.” 

Eve sighs, knowing she has been caught. “I made a promise to… a friend. Of ours and of the Library,” she replies carefully. “If you knew who -  _ what _ it was, you would agree that I should keep it.” Her hand falls on the door handle, waiting.

Jenkins purses his lips, thinking for a long moment. After some deliberation, he nods. “Very well, Colonel. But know that you - and to some extent, Mr. Carsen - are fraying a very thin rope right now. And trust can be mended, but seldom can it be reborn once broken.” 

Eve nods, whispering her thanks as she opens the door and descends into the Library. It has obviously been waiting for her to enter alone, and it helpfully lights the way to its Heart.

“Thanks, Ray,” she murmurs, once she reaches the elevator, and the Library twinkles in response. 

The forest at the Heart of the Library is no less beautiful than it was when she first came here because of Prospero, and she allows herself to meander through the woods instead of seeking what she came for immediately. The greenery stretches high and splays wide; even when she looks up, she can barely see whatever sun substitute that is above her through the branches. Ray even deigns to name some of the plants for her, whispering words on an artificial breeze as she passes them. 

_ The Lotus Tree. The Tree of Light. The Eternal Daffodil. Raskovnik. _

Finally, she comes upon the great stump left from Prospero’s visit. Ray is silent on this one, likely still upset with them for burning it down. She turns to the right, and -

There sits the Tree of Knowledge. And next to it, Charlene with a picnic blanket, casually drinking an iced tea. 

Eve is overcome with a burst of anger at the sight, and she storms forward. “I held Flynn while he mourned you,” she says furiously. “Two weeks later, and he can still barely sleep through the night. And Jenkins! He has no one to hold him while he grieves, and you’re down here… picnicking!”

Charlene sighs, the welcoming smile on her face fading to an irritable frown. “And this is the treatment I get for trying to make this easier for you,” she retorts, the picnic lunch vanishing. “Colonel, I am most certainly dead, and there is no way for anyone but you to communicate with me. I want them to grieve. I want them to let me go, because I am only here for one purpose.”

Eve folds her arms over her chest. “And what’s that?”

Charlene studies her, eyes critical and she rises to her feet. More than rises - she floats, and Eve’s vision catches on the way she fades and solidifies intermittently. “Oh, you’re not ready for that,” Charlene says waving a hand. Little particles of light follow her movements. “Now, I have a lot to tell you, and we don’t have much time.”

Eve furrows her brow. “We have at least an hour or so,” she ventures, but Charlene just laughs in response.

“I’ve passed beyond the mirror, Colonel - I can see a lot more than you. Even now, your Librarian’s hand has begun to itch for yours. It won’t be long before he’s actively thinking of you, of where you are, of why you aren’t by his side.” Her expression morphs slowly from irritated to warm. “That boy loves you, Eve. And he’s only just lost me. I suspect he won’t like the idea of you out of his sight for the next few weeks at least.”

Eve feels both warm and uncomfortable. As much as she loves Flynn, she’s a very private person. Hearing anyone talk about the way he feels about her is unnerving. “Okay, so if we’re in a rush, what do I need to know now?”

Charlene sighs, pinning Eve with an intense stare. “Tethering, Colonel. You need to know about tethering. So sit, let me tell you.”

Eve sits, and Charlene outlines the need to have a tethered Librarian and Guardian. Her lecture is precise and detailed, down to the precise timing - and the choice that stands before her, regardless of timing.

“If you choose to tether, the Library will challenge you,” Charlene says. “You, more than your Librarian. It will test your trust in it. Your faith.”

“I trust the Library,” Eve says automatically. “And I trust Flynn.” 

Charlene gives her a sad smile. “Hm,” she hums. “Well, Guardian, you’ve got it all figured out, then, don’t you?” But before Eve can dwell on that cryptic statement, Charlene continues: “I know you will choose to tether, Eve. It’s in your blood - to give everything to what you believe. But I want you to think on this: from your experience with Flynn, I’m sure you would guess that the Librarian and the Library are closer than the Guardian and the Library, but you would be wrong. You and I have and will know the Library better than either Judson or Flynn.”

Eve wants to take Charlene on her word, but she knows Flynn. She knows the Library. “The Library loves Flynn,” she argues, “more than it will ever love me.” 

Charlene clicks her tongue. “I’m not talking about love, Colonel. I’m talking about understanding. The Guardian and the Library are protectors. You are both distinct from Flynn, from the other Librarians, from every Librarian.” She pauses, suddenly looking older than Eve has ever seen her. “To make the right choice, you can’t just choose to be with the Librarian. You must choose to be with the Library.”

Eve raises a brow. To think about The Library without thinking of Flynn is almost an anathema. The two are tightly bound in Eve’s mind, an echo of each other. They’ve both given her a family and a purpose. “But Flynn clearly factors into any decision I make either way,” she argues. “From what you’ve told me, I would be spending a very long time with them both.”

“You would,” Charlene agrees, seemingly unwilling to say much more on the subject. “Give Galahad the records that the Library is now leaving on your desk. He’ll find my notes about tethering there and you won’t need to explain yourself.” She pauses. “When you’ve decided, both you and Flynn - once you’ve done it - come find me. We’ll have more to discuss then, but for now, your Librarian misses you.”

Eve nods, moving to stand. “I don’t want to lie to them,” she ventures. 

Charlene waves a hand. “Trust the Library,” she replies. “And don’t lie, Colonel. You can find a better loophole than that, or I’ve overestimated you.”

Once Eve is back in the elevator, Charlene studies the empty air around her. “I’m not sure this plan of yours will work,” she announces. There is a moment of silence, then: “of course she’s capable - she’s the most incredible Guardian this Library will ever see!” Another pause. “Because no one should know their future. She’s strong, very strong. But I have known the pain she will know if she chooses this path, and she must choose it knowingly.” 

There is a longer pause, and Charlene begins to fade. “Because I didn’t choose it knowingly,” she responds to an unasked question. “And if I had known, I might not have made the same choice.” 


	2. chapter i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter! 
> 
> so my story 'hold my hand in yours' takes place in this universe, because i'm very attached to it and i pretty much consider it part of my canon. you don't have to read that to understand this fic, but if you want a deeper insight into why flynn seems quiet and uncomfortable post 4x12, that's where it comes from. 
> 
> happy reading!

Eve is not sure what she expected in the wake of tethering, but it isn’t to feel exactly the same as she had before.

“Immortality sneaks up on you,” Jenkins warns after he pronounces them tethered, having guessed her thoughts as she looks down at her hands like she’s not sure they belong to her. Still, there is a warm, comforting half-smile on his face as Cassandra squeals and tosses white rose petals all over them, so she isn’t too concerned. Ezekiel happily follows Cassie’s gentle act by pelting them with rice, ignoring Flynn’s complaints and only stopping when Eve glares at him. “The strength and stamina will build up slowly enough that you will not feel its progress,” Jenkins adds, raising an eyebrow at the joyful scene before him. 

After the three other Librarians congratulate them, Flynn becomes quiet, almost withdrawn now that they’ve finally made it. Still, he is looking at her like she’s the sun, and the disquiet she had felt moments before, like her body was not her own, fades like it was never there. She can do anything with this man by her side; she knows it. 

The moment passes; Flynn has already released her hand as the others make their way into the Annex. Cassandra had mentioned drinks and dessert at the local bar, and everyone had agreed it was the best idea for a reception they had not prepared for. 

“Okay, Librarian?” Eve murmurs, stepping closer to him.

He nods, reaching for her hand with a slow and deliberate movement, like he can’t believe she’s real, pressing a gentle kiss to the tethering ring on her finger. “I love you, Guardian,” he says lowly. 

Eve’s heart nearly bursts at the sincerity and depth in his expression. He’s said those words many times before, but there’s a weight to them that immortality appends. A longevity - a unique promise that few can understand. 

“Always and forever,” she swears, pressing her own kiss to his cheek. Something crackles between them, and Flynn shudders.

“Baird!” Jake yells from the Annex. “Door’s set!”

Flynn and Eve exchange one last long look before Eve sheds her cape and tiara, following her immortal tethering-partner out of the place they have now sworn to protect for millenia. 

-

They settle the others down the next day to explain their eagerness to tether. They had agreed the day before to reveal very little - too many missions ride on the events playing out relatively the same, and Nicole doesn’t deserve the distrust her alternate actions would cause.

But the Librarians and Jenkins deserve their honesty, so Eve does her best to explain everything with Flynn’s occasional interjections. Again, Eve is struck by his reticence, but she figures they can discuss it later. After all, they still haven’t talked about his kidnapping and her months without him. Her fingers twitch as she ponders how to be honest with him without adding to his already enormous guilt complex.

She thinks it will probably involve admitting how angry she is at herself for accepting a ring, an empty bookcase, and a few missing clothes for a resignation - hating that irrational fear that had kept her from finding him and asking him what the hell he was thinking. She hadn’t thought she could bear hearing him tell her to her face that he didn’t want her, but now she would happily hear it a thousand times if it had prevented him from being Nicole’s plaything for months. She isn’t sure she’s ready to accept his forgiveness - she knows how easily he will give it once he knows how much her actions weigh on her. 

She tunes back in as Flynn sums up their use of the toaster. When they’ve finished, the other four are quiet for a long moment. Then Cassandra looks off into the distance, an odd half-smile on her face. “So that’s what the toaster does,” she murmurs, and it breaks the heavy silence. 

Jake pulls a crumpled twenty from his jacket and hands it to Ezekiel. “I can’t believe you guessed that,” he mutters to Ezekiel, who just shrugs. The bill disappears between his fingers like a magic trick. 

Jenkins leans forward against his desk, elbows braced against the wood with his fingers steepled. “So you both have lived the next several months’ events before?” He clarifies.

Eve nods. “There is a threat,” she begins haltingly, “that is no longer a threat. Otherwise, we expect events to play out similarly. We plan on writing up some notes” - here she looks to Flynn for confirmation, and he nods - “places where we think there’s some leeway.”

Jenkins looks thoughtful. “Well, judging from other instances of this type of event, the - well - the thread you’ve rewoven, if you’ll pardon the metaphor, will try to stick to the original timeline as closely as possible.” 

Eve groans. “I hate time travel.” 

Flynn nods, ignoring Eve’s lament. “Hopefully, that’s what happens,” he agrees. “So those events… not involving the threat… will basically be a loop for us.” He pauses. “Think Groundhog Day, but we only get one more shot,” he says in an aside to Eve.

She waves a hand. “Yeah, got it,” she replies tiredly. “Okay, we good?”

Jake’s mouth drops open. “You’re not gonna tell us anymore?” He argues. “What was the threat? Shouldn’t we prepare for it, just in case?”

Cassie nods. “We can get a drop on all the bad guys,” she adds. “It’s like… a research dream!”

Flynn shakes his head. “No, bad idea,” he dismisses, but barely a moment passes before he’s giving Cassandra an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Cassandra, but Eve and I have decided.”

The other Librarian huffs a little, but nods. Ezekiel and Jake also look a little put out; it’s only been a few months since Apep, and Flynn and Eve are still regaining the level of trust they had had before it. 

Jake stands. “If that’s it, I’ve got some research to do,” he announces. “Cass, you coming?” 

Cassandra agrees, pulling Ezekiel up with her as they make for the Library. The three are already whispering furiously before rounding the corner.

Eve gives the two other immortals in the room a wry glance. “We’re about to be buried in theories, aren’t we?”

Flynn huffs out a laugh, getting to his feet as well. “We’ve survived the apocalypse, but we might be annoyed to death by nosy Librarians.”

“Oh goody, now you two can bear some of the burden,” Jenkins says before pinning them both with a serious look. “As I’m sure you’re aware, time travel is a risky business. These events that you suspect so strongly will not happen-”

“They won’t,” Flynn interrupts, direct and certain. 

“Maybe not the way you expect, Sir,” Jenkins cautions. “But rest assured - Lady Time has her loom, and she will have her way.” 

Shooting each other an uncertain look, Flynn and Eve nod. 

-

A few weeks of missions and adventures pass before things truly return to normal. 

Eve had been wrong about Flynn’s reticence; after an emotional explosion about a week in, Eve had discovered that Nicole’s alternate world had hurt him far more than she had initially thought. But if Eve is certain of anything, it is her knowledge of Flynn Carsen and her ability to pull him to safety when he is drowning. And so she had, and despite the mental trauma he had experienced, he has slowly grown more and more open with her and the others, returning to his usual self.

But they have not yet really talked about what happened. Now that he is a little more stable, she knows that she can’t wait any longer.

She finds him in the reading room, back against a bookcase, books and papers splayed around him. His legs are wide open with his notes balancing on his left thigh, ink stains on his fingers. She loves seeing him focused and engaged like this, without a care to how he looks, completely relaxed. Even more, she loves that he doesn’t even attempt to straighten up when she walks in, comfortable and secure in her presence. She knows if she sits next to him and puts her head on his shoulder, he won’t stop working, but he’ll easily and happily adjust for her presence. 

So she does.

This time, the adjustment comes in the form of pulling her over his right thigh, settling her without a word against his chest, right arm twining around her waist to pull her tightly against him. Then, it releases her to pick up a book, left hand still scribbling away at his notes. He’s humming under his breath, and she feels the gentle vibration against the back of her head and neck. If she were tired, it would easily put her to sleep. She closes her eyes, letting the tension bleed out of her body for a moment before she begins their conversation. 

It won’t be an easy one. 

He works with her in his arms for another fifteen or so minutes. Eve knows his focus has turned to her when he caps his pen and slides his notes off his leg, his arms coming around her, empty of books or papers. 

“Mm,” he murmurs, “hello, Guardian.” He pulls her back up against him, pressing gentle kisses along her right shoulder. “Can I help you?”

“Your hiding places are getting trickier,” she teases. It’s an empty tease; the Library always helps her find him relatively quickly. “It took me longer than usual to find you.”

She can feel him smile against her shoulder. “And what will you do now that you have me?” He asks, low and raspy in a way that makes her want to forget about talking and instead, turn in his arms and kiss him until he’s a puddle on the floor underneath her. 

Her sense of responsibility and duty kicks in at the thought, and she groans silently. “No…” She trails off, not a little regretful. “We need to talk.”

“Face to face or like this?”

“Dealer’s choice.” 

She knows that it’s no choice; Flynn’s best understanding of what she’s thinking comes from her body language, and he won’t give up that advantage. He sighs before pushing her up and helping her turn around. “I was comfortable,” he complains, but there is no heat in his voice. 

She shifts so she’s sitting cross legged between his outstretched legs, both her knees brushing over the tops of his thighs. “You still look pretty comfortable,” she says lightly.

He smiles, taking her hands from her lap and twining them with his. “I’m always comfortable when I’m with you.”

“Smooth talker,” she accuses, but her own grin betrays her.

“Only for you,” he parries, lifting up one of her hands and pressing a kiss to the back of it. She expects him to drop their hands back to her lap relatively quickly, but instead he pauses with his lips on her hand. She can feel his warm breath as he sighs against it, eyes squeezing shut for a moment. His brain is whirling fast; she can see it in his brow, can almost hear it if she focuses enough. “You’ve been very patient,” he says finally, the words clumsy as they pass through her skin before making it out into the open air. “And I know you’re _my_ Guardian - and doing an excellent job, at that - but if you have something to get off your chest, I want you to tell me.” He releases her hand to stare, solemn and sincere, into her eyes. “I’m not one of your little ducklings. I’m your partner. Talk to me.”

Eve exhales, dropping her gaze from his. She reaches one hand for his pocket watch chain, picking at the golden links as she thinks of how to start. She can feel his gaze still on her, both warm and heavy. 

“I feel like I failed you,” she says finally, and he actually physically recoils at that, his chain slipping from her fingers.

Only seconds pass before he leans back in like a boomerang, his free hand lifting under her chin. “Eve,” he begins, quick and frantic.

“You disappeared completely,” she interrupts, and he falls silent, though it is clear he is dying to reassure her from the way his jaw twitches, from the way his hand falls from her chin to her cheek, brushing away her tears - _when did she start crying? -_ with a horrified look on his face. “No goodbye, no note,” she continues, “just a ring that you hadn’t taken off in months and…” she trails off. “And fear,” she finishes quietly.

“And past experience,” he adds lightly, tucking the hair that had fallen out from her loose bun behind her ear. “All the times I’ve run before. The promises I’ve broken.”

Eve shakes her head, dislodging his hand. “That was a long time ago. For months, you stayed-”

“- because you gave me a reason to stay,” he interjects. “Because you taught me that our family was worth letting down my guard, and you were right. But Nicole got in all our heads - she had centuries to plan this, Eve. We all got caught in her trap, and _you_ saved us. _You_ kept the Library alive.”

Eve exhales and looks down with a low groan of frustration. “Stop forgiving me,” she retorts. “You were there for _months,_ and now you’re suffering because of that. Because I left you there.”

“And I’m healing because of you,” he urges. “I’m going to be fine.” He ducks down so he can meet her eyes, his own narrowed. “And there’s nothing to forgive - Eve, what can I say to make this better? I’m not like you - I don’t always have the perfect line.”

She meets his eyes, dark and stormy and pained. “I’m far from perfect, Flynn. I barely held it together without you,” she finally admits, and he pulls her into his arms, laying her head against his shoulder. He suppresses the strange urge to make hushing noises; he _really_ doesn’t know how to do this. “I don’t want to be a Guardian if you’re not my Librarian,” she says against the material of his shirt. “I did that once, and can’t do it again.”

“I won’t make you,” he soothes. 

It’s like she doesn’t hear him. “All I could remember,” she says, “was leaning over Nicole’s body - and everything was confusing and awful but you took my hand-”

“Hold my hand in yours, and we will not fear what hands like ours can do,” Flynn quotes. Eve nods against him, overcome. “That’s the Epic of Gilgamesh,” he adds softly. “The oldest story on written record.” He pauses. “You are the axe at my side, my hand's strength, the sword in my belt, and the shield before me,” he quotes once more. 

“Romantic,” Eve says wryly, her voice tired and raspy from crying.

Flynn hums. “You and me, Eve. This is it - forever. So next time I get kidnapped by a former Guardian…”

“I’ll come after you,” she finishes. “You and me,” she repeats, lifting her head and framing his face with her hands, pressing her lips to his. He tugs her closer, closing his legs around her so she is halfway in his lap. She pulls away briefly, lips so close to his that he can hardly focus on her words. “You know, for someone who doesn’t always have the perfect line, that was pretty perfect.” He hums in agreement, but he’s distracted by how much of her body is touching his, and after months without her, he pulls her back in without another word. 

They kiss like that for what seems like hours, but is likely only a few minutes. Finally, she pulls back, leaving them both giddy and dazed. It takes her a moment, but eventually, she narrows her eyes at him playfully. “And you - don’t think I haven’t noticed you begging off missions. What’s that about?” For all the lightness in her voice, he knows it’s a serious query. 

He shrugs, unwilling to retreat from the happy buzz her kisses had given him. “I did it in the original timeline too,” he reminds her. 

“Because you didn’t trust the Library,” she finishes. “And don’t tell me it’s just about preserving the timeline.”

He pretends to think, and she lets him. She knows he’s just looking for the best way to say whatever he’s already figured out, and she’s happy to wait. “It’s the way that Judson always did it,” he says finally, and she nods. That’s what she had thought. “Through mirrors, phone calls - always taking a back seat.”

“You’re forgetting something important,” she replies gently, and he raises an eyebrow. “You’re not Judson. You’re Flynn Carsen. Charlene was amazing, but I’m not about to turn into an accountant, am I? I don’t think that’s why the Library chose me,” she adds, pushing against the unease she feels when she thinks about why exactly the Library _had_ chosen her. “And I don’t think that’s what you or the others need me to be either.”

Flynn scoffs. “Of course not. But you’re the only Guardian, Eve. And you were right - about the others. They’re becoming incredible Librarians in their own rights. They clearly need you as much as I do...”

“You’re just not sure they need you,” Eve finishes, before poking him incredulously. “And you thought that by becoming Judson, you’d be filling some sort of hole for them? Flynn, they don’t need a Judson. They need a _you_.” She pauses. “I was always… frustrated, when you came and went. Because every time you stayed, there would be these moments… these hints of how easily you could lead them with no pride or vanity. And in those moments, I saw growth in them that neither Jenkins or I could nurture.” She leans her forehead against his. “When we go adventuring now - after all these years of finding a balance - I know I can trust you without a doubt. There’s an ease to working with you that, however much I love them, I will never have with the others.”

“Nor I with my ex-Guardians,” Flynn adds quietly. 

“That quality - only you can teach them that. And they need you to teach them - not as me or Charlene or even Judson, but as yourself.” 

Flynn sighs and nods, lifting his forehead from hers to kiss her affectionately on the nose. “I don’t know what I would do without you,” he declares, moving his kisses from her nose to her eyelids and cheeks until she giggles. “You’ll help me?” He requests lightly, belied by the anxiety in his eyes. “With them?”

Eve gives him a look, but she nods with a warm smile on her face. “Always,” she promises. “But Flynn, everything you need is in here” - she pokes his forehead - “and here” - she places a palm over his heart. “Mother’s wisdom,” she reminds him, and he can’t help but kiss her hard when he realizes she remembered what he told her about his mother. His heart swells in his chest so much it hurts, and he has to consciously steady his breathing as he reminds himself how good it is to feel, even if it’s too much sometimes. 

“I love you,” he breathes, speaking against her lips, eyes still closed. “Wanna get out of here?”

He can feel, rather than see, the way she looks at him incredulously. “Flynn, it’s two in the afternoon.”

“ _Eve_ ,” he says, just her name, pitching his voice low and dark and hot just the way he knows she likes it. Sure enough, she rocks forward in his arms, scrambling for a steady position so she can kiss him back harder, deepening the kiss easily as he falls apart in the face of her ardor. It’s all he can do not to twist until they are sprawled out on the floor - just to have her here in the Library.

Good thing they’re too old for such things, or he might’ve tried it. And been sore and bruised for days. Do immortals get achy from unconventional sex locations? 

His sudden desire to put that theory to the test fades completely - okay, fades to a little part of his brain where he’ll file it away for when they’re desperate - when she pulls back, breathing hard. “Find us a bed,” she orders between gulps for air, still staring at his mouth. “We have one hour before we need to get back,” she adds, yelping when she loses her balance because he scrambled to his feet without thinking, but her yelps turn into moans when he pulls her up and back into his arms, walking her into the bookcase.

He pulls away after a minute, grinning maniacally at her, leading her eagerly through a Door and into their bedroom. “That’s plenty of time,” he murmurs, helping her with her clothes. “God, you’re beautiful,” he adds before she pushes him onto the bed.

And those are the last coherent words either of them say for the next fifty-nine minutes. 

  
  


-

The next morning, Eve sees a flash of blonde hair in the mirror, and she gives the empty glass a reluctant nod. 

The message is clear: Charlene is waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sure someone has guessed what's about to happen - i don't think i'm hiding it that well lol.
> 
> comment if you like! <3


	3. chapter ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long one! 
> 
> so bc i'm sticking to the original timeline here, flynn and jenkins are still at odds over there being more than one librarian, but their roles are actually reversed. this is because flynn wrote off dare's words super quickly, and jenkins, as always, likes to be contrary. so don't read it as him actually thinking there's going to be a librarian civil war - more of a "should we take this more seriously"
> 
> also stuff goes down in this chapter. finally. i'm not sorry.

Eve leans up against the stump of the still unidentified tree as Charlene describes the limits of the mirror realm, something that’s bothered Eve for a few years now.    


“It’s an in-between,” she is saying, pacing soundlessly in front of Eve. “The Library pulled Judson and me here to guide you and Flynn from afar. I appear only to you because I’ve already given Flynn everything I had to give him.”

Eve sighs. “You were like a mother to him,” she argues. “He knows that the Library is giving me these lessons, but he doesn’t know it’s you - and I’m not sure how much longer I can keep that a secret.”

“He’s kept plenty from you,” Charlene says sharply, but the edge fades when Eve flinches. “That was inappropriate. I apologize.” 

“When he kept things from me,” Eve begins, ignoring the apology. Charlene’s sharpness is grating to her, and she’s getting tired of forgiving it. “When he lied, I nearly lost him. But that’s the last time I let that happen. I never want to see him that desperate again.” 

Charlene looks away. “Lesson over,” she says shortly. “I will contact you when it’s time for us to discuss more.”

She fades away without waiting for a goodbye, and Eve spends at least ten minutes staring at the spot where she disappeared, trying to shake the feeling that there’s something she’s missing. 

-

Eve ducks into one of the empty tents at the edge of the rave, shoulders unwinding when the linen curtain falls back into place behind her, blocking some of the noise. She reaches up, rubbing at a tense spot in her neck, eyes fluttering shut. A brief smile flashes across her expression at the mental vision of her Librarian jerking and wiggling on the dance floor, a sight she can appreciate now that she’s no longer blinded by flashing lights and loud noises. 

She wrinkles her nose at the thought, wondering when she had gotten so old. 

“Is Eve Baird alright?”

“Jesus!” She shouts, spinning with a hand already at her empty hip. Santa stands there, a mischievous smile on his face as he holds out his hands in a placating manner. “Nick, what the hell?”

Santa’s mischievous look fades into a solemnity that makes her slightly uncomfortable. “Santa apologizes. He knows that he should not sneak up on a Guardian, especially one of Eve Baird’s caliber.” He pauses, dropping his hands when she nods in receipt of his words. He gestures her to a pair of folding chairs in the corner of the tent, two cups of hot cocoa appearing in his hands when she blinks. He hands her one, and only once they are seated does he continue. “Santa merely wished to congratulate Eve Baird on her tethering, and welcome her as an immortal.”

Eve smiles; she has had a soft spot for Nick for a long time, and to have this moment with him is half comforting, half surreal. “Thanks, Nick. I’m honored that you think I’m worthy.”

Santa reaches out, laying a firm hand on Eve’s shoulder. “No,” he stresses, gazing deeply into Eve’s eyes. If she was less of a soldier, she would squirm at the intensity. “Santa is honored to be Eve Baird’s friend. Santa…” He pauses, sighing. “ _ I _ knew, when you held all of Christmas in your soul, that you would replace Charlene. No other Guardian would _ I _ have accepted. You have Gretchen and I as allies - call on us whenever you need.” 

Eve hides her blush by taking a long sip of her cocoa. “The Library appreciates-”

“No,” Santa interrupts. “You, Eve. All your charges as well, but you especially.” 

Eve gives him an odd look. There’s a tension in his words, and coupled with his willingness to break his love of teasing her in third-person, she feels on edge. “Thank you,” she says finally, setting the cocoa aside. “Now, this is your party! And Gretchen owes me a dance - there’s only so much of Flynn’s… movements… that I can take.”

Santa laughs, a deep one from the belly that takes her straight back to her childhood. “Oh ho, Eve Baird! There is not one inch of that man Eve would change; she cannot lie to Santa,” he warns, wagging a finger at her. 

Eve shrugs, knowing he’s right; she wouldn’t change a hair on Flynn’s head. She doesn’t have to answer for him to know the truth, so she gets to her feet. “Still,” Santa continues, “Santa has not given Eve Baird a tethering present, and as always, Santa knows just what she needs.”

He offers her his arm and leads her out of the tent smugly. When they reach the edge of the dance floor, Santa somehow raises his voice above the music. “Santa wishes to take it back,” he booms to the DJ, who nods in understanding as, in the blink of an eye, his turntable turns into a big jazz band. The lights go low and warm, and the familiar strains of Sinatra echo down the beach. Santa beckons his wife to his side with his free hand, and Gretchen’s warm eyes twinkle at the sight of an embarrassed Eve on the other side of her husband. 

“Clear the floor!” she shouts excitedly, and Eve groans when she realizes what’s going on. She reaches their side, taking Eve’s hands and pulling her to the middle of the dance floor. Eve only follows because she’s honestly a little scared of Gretchen, though she’d never admit it. “Now, where is that husband of yours?”

Eve shakes her head. “That’s not what-”

“ _ Thank _ you!” Comes Flynn’s exclamation behind her. He takes her hands from Gretchen, mindlessly wrapping them around his neck before taking her by the waist. “See, Eve? If Mrs. Claus says we don’t need a separate wedding ceremony, then we don’t.” He begins to sway them expertly from side to side, and really, Eve doesn’t understand how he can be so uncoordinated one moment and so smooth the next.

Though she’s uncomfortable with all the stares and smiles on them, she can’t help but tease him back. “You just don’t want to plan a wedding,” she retorts, softened by the fond look on her face. 

Flynn gets a look in his eye, a darkening heat, and he pulls her more firmly into him. “No,” he rumbles. “I just want to call you my wife. Because that’s what you are, Eve. You and me. Forever.” 

Eve hums, pressing her forehead against his. “We’re not through with this discussion,” she murmurs, “I just want to enjoy the moment.” 

From the corner of her eye, she sees Santa pull Gretchen to the floor, and more couples follow their lead.

“You disappeared for a moment there,” Flynn whispers, spinning her and pulling her back in. 

“You noticed?”

“Always.”

He waits for her to say more, and she does. “Santa wanted to talk. Just… checking in with the whole tethering thing.”

Flynn is silent for a moment, then: “so this was a first dance sort of thing,” he murmurs. 

“Not the first,” she reminds him, and she knows he is thinking of the same thing she is - a faded world, a crudely etched drawing, a green dress.

His eyes are sad and fond as he spins her into him. “Doesn’t count when one or both of us is dying, Guardian,” he replies. 

Minutes later, Jenkins pulls her away for a turn around the floor, but Eve’s mind never really stops dissecting Santa’s words - and the warning she’s sure she heard in them. 

  
  


-

Eve collapses in the loveseat next to Flynn as Jake and Ezekiel gather everyone’s presents from underneath the tree. Jenkins and Cassandra walk through the door with their hands full of hot cocoa as Ezekiel distributes the stockings. Cassie hands both Flynn and her their mugs with a faint blush on her cheeks, and Eve herself goes a little red when she thinks about how curled into Flynn she is. Luckily, no one says anything, and honestly, Eve is so happy they’re all here together that she can bear a little embarrassment. It’s not like they don’t all know who she lives with, who she’s made her life with. 

An hour or so later, the Reading Room is full of torn wrapping paper and discarded bows. Jake is demonstrating to Jenkins how his new kindle works, and Ezekiel and Cassie are playfully fighting over the chocolates from Eve’s stocking that she hadn’t wanted. 

Eve had gotten Flynn the usual: an assortment of silk neckties, some skincare, and his yearly free pass to drag her to the academic conference of his choice. As a bonus, she had found Flynn’s favorite spiced tea in a tiny town in Tibet after weeks of searching; she had received a long kiss mere moments ago for those efforts. 

Flynn had also gotten her neckties, coupled with a new leather holster and a cello, which she knew was coming after she had let it slip a few months ago that she had played when she was younger. There is one more box on the floor in front of them, and Flynn leans down to grab it.

He doesn’t make any immediate motions to give it to her or open it himself, and a little suspicion niggles at Eve’s brain. She wants to turn and look at him, but she’s comfortable leaning against him, so she decides to let him work up the courage to give her… whatever it is. 

Her heart flips in her chest, and she chides it. It’s probably not what she suspects; knowing her boyfriend, it’s an ancient brooch or a glass figurine because she’s sure he doesn’t realize what a jewelry box that size connotes...

“You know what sounds nice?” He murmurs against her ear, low and warm, pulling her out of her spiraling thoughts. 

She drifts her fingers down his arm, humming in a questioning tone. The murmurs of the others fade into the background. 

“Eve Baird,” he replies decisively, and she sits up just so she can give him a curious look. He laughs at her expression, pulling her back against him. “Don’t say anything,” he says, and there’s a high note to his voice. “Let me…” He sounds…  _ nervous _ . 

Her heart starts beating double time. 

He exhales hard, presenting the box to her. “You know what sounds nicer?”

“What’s that?” She can’t help but whisper, barely breathing. He flips open the box, and there’s a beautiful thin gold band there. 

“Eve Carsen,” he says, deep and serious and half-pleading. She sits up in earnest then, turning to look at him. “Of course,” he continues nervously, “Baird is gorgeous - you don’t have to change your name, I mean, and the ring - there’s no diamond, but you know diamonds are worthless anyway and you always wear such practical jewelry, and I-”

“Flynn Carsen,” she interrupts loudly, and the rest of the room goes quiet. Though she is in loathe to be the center of attention, she presses on. “Are you proposing to me?”

He turns red. “Uh, yes. I mean, if you want - if you think it’s-”

“Yes,” she interrupts, a wide grin spreading across her face. She knows she’s crying too, but his eyes are also red. “Of course, Flynn.”

“Good,” he says, a wry grin coming through. The room erupts into cheers as he slides the ring on her finger with his hands shaking, before pulling her into a tight embrace. “Because I had about nine more minutes of that.” 

-

Eve approaches the Tree of Knowledge a few weeks after Christmas, grinning wide as Charlene holds out her hand, wordlessly demanding to see the ring. 

She makes no comment about the size or the lack of stones, the way Eve’s family had. Instead, she brushes an intangible hand over the band, eyes shining. “Oh, Colonel,” she says, and nothing more.

Eve smiles gently. “We’re already tethered,” she points out. “It shouldn’t be such a big deal, but it makes me feel… secure.” 

Charlene looks away. “I wish this could wait,” she says quietly.

Those words are all it takes for Eve’s heart to jump into her throat. “What is it?” She says evenly, stepping back. 

Charlene gives her a long, considering look. “You’ve been learning about the inner workings of the Library for the past few months,” she finally begins. “But I’m sure… well, you’re smart, Colonel. You know that there’s something more, and it’s finally time I tell you.” She pauses. “If you could keep your wits about you, that would be best.” Her tone is almost caustic as she says this, but Eve has known Charlene for long enough that she uses sharpness to cover for difficult emotions. 

So she swallows, mentally bracing herself.  _ Things are good _ , she reminds herself.  _ Everyone you love is healthy and happy and you can deal with any threat to that.  _ Then she gestures for Charlene to continue. 

Charlene nods, folding her hands together as she watches Eve closely. “There are things I’m… allowed to say. And things I am not. The Library is, well, very particular,” she equivocates. 

Eve gives her a look, eyes narrowed. She’s getting tired of putting this off. “Tell me what you need to,” she asks, voice hard. 

Charlene sighs, looking down at the Tree. “As you know, you and Flynn are very important to The Library.”

Eve shrugs; she’s known this for a while - it’s rather obvious. “Considering we’re both immortal à la Library…”

Charlene waves a hand. “Flynn is important, but Colonel… Eve. You are only the second Guardian to tether to the Library, and you will be the last. There’s a prophecy - it’s as old as the Library. Eventually - many years from now, I hope - the Library, at least as we know it, will die with you.” She pauses, exhaling, before adding one final caveat. “Only you.”

Everything screeches to a halt. 

Eve fights against the innumerable questions that stack up in her mind, physically shaking her head as if to declutter herself.  _ Focus,  _ she thinks.  _ Think.  _ And since she can only have rational thoughts regarding part of that statement at the moment, she focuses on that. “How can all knowledge… die?” She asks, voice soft. This isn’t the question she wants to ask, but it is the only one for which she might be ready to hear the answer. 

Charlene looks uncharacteristically uncertain, her brows furrowing. “I don’t know,” she says seriously. “But I have hope that it will not be the end - as should you.”

Eve goes silent, her breath coming shorter as her mind processes that information. “And… Flynn?” She whispers finally, closing her eyes. She knows the answer, but maybe… maybe she misheard… maybe her intuition is wrong.

Her engagement ring burns on her finger. 

Charlene shakes her head, unwilling or unable to meet Eve’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t tell you by how long or what exactly will happen, but… you will outlive your Librarian.”

And if Eve had thought the world had come to a halt a minute ago, it is nothing to her paralysis now. “No,” she breathes, stumbling back.

Charlene gives her a deeply sympathetic look. She also knows what it is to outlive her Librarian, but Eve can’t think about that right now. She can only see Flynn - precious, bright, brilliant Flynn - with the same look in his eyes in the catacombs, propped up against Excalibur’s Stone, strapped to a table as electric pads migrate towards his head. Ready to give up his life for the world, for the Library, for her. 

“I thought you didn’t need to ever know,” Charlene is saying, though she sounds like she is underwater. “No one should know how it ends - how they end. But the Library - well, it’s in charge, but Eve, no one really knows what a prophecy is saying - you _ know _ this…” 

Eve feels like she is falling. Her breathing grows shorter and shorter as she latches onto the first emotion she finds after horror: anger.

And, though she’s distantly aware that the woman before her is likely only a messenger, she turns it on Charlene. “You let me tether to him,” she growls, unable to say her fiance's name. “You told me to. You said I always would.” Her voice breaks, but after a moment spent gathering herself, it comes back louder. “I trust him, more than I trust anyone, even myself. That’s why I did this. Because I trust  _ my _ Librarian.”

Charlene’s mouth opens and closes, but no response comes from her. Instead, it comes from the Library.

“You did not tether to Flynn Carsen,” comes a loud, booming voice behind her. Eve and Charlene both startle, and Eve automatically drops into a more stable fighting stance: hands raised, feet wide. The familiar figure of Ray steps out behind a tree, but he doesn’t look human like he did when the Library lost its conscience back with Prospero. He looks like something else, stretched out and roiling and golden white. Eve doesn’t look away. She’s a Guardian,  _ the  _ Guardian, and she will not back down. “You tethered to me.” 

“I tethered to the institution,” Eve argues, pacing up to face him. She refuses to be intimidated. “I tethered because I trusted you in our hands.”

The Library shakes it head, somehow both sad and condescending. “I am no mere institution, Guardian. I was sorry to deceive you, but Charlene told you that you would be tethering to me. You understood better than she did what I asked of you both, and you answered the call.” The Library smiles then. “You always would.” 

Eve seethes, trying to hold on the last shred of anger. She knows the next thing she will do is break down, and she refuses to let that happen here. “Yeah? Well, I’m hanging up,” she retorts, stepping around him and stalking for the elevator, trembling in fury and despair. She will be alone. Flynn will leave her alone. She will die alone. 

Before she can enter the elevator, The Library appears once more before her. 

“You can’t stop me from leaving.” Even as she says it, images flood her mind of Nicole in her cell, and she shudders. She has never armed herself while in the Library, but her hand drifts toward her hip anyways. 

The Library sighs, gold and silver light swirling around them. If she didn’t know any better, she would say it looked regretful, and she wonders if it is also thinking of Nicole. “I could, but I would not, Guardian.” He pauses. “Your Librarians need you. I need you.” 

Eve presses her lips together to hold herself together, but one tear still escapes. The Library watches its progress down her cheek. “They’re the best Librarians the world has ever seen,” she says, the confidence in her voice unwavering. “They will be fine.” 

The Library steps aside gracefully to allow her to pass. “You are their soul, Eve Baird,” it intones. “Soulless Librarians breed chaos.”

Eve is too angry to hear it. She is not sure how, but she makes it all the way through the empty Library and Annex, climbing into Jenkins’ rarely used car with her emergency bag before ugly sobs overtake her.

-

Cassandra watches Flynn descend the staircase, bantering good naturedly with Jenkins. “I’m glad I can still surprise you,” he says smugly, bowling shoes dangling over his shoulder. Cassandra’s brain subconsciously analyzes his posture, the way he leans to the left to account for the thirty or so pounds of bowling balls he is carrying over his right shoulder.

Jenkins scoffs. “It’s unlike you, sir, to disregard a former Librarian’s word so easily.”

Flynn chuckles. “C’mon, Jenkins, does it look like a Librarian Civil War is about to burst into action here? We’re a team.”

Cassandra’s head jerks up. “Wait, there’s a Librarian Civil War?”   


“Alternate Timeline,” Flynn replies, waving her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m a little worried!” She shoots back, turning to Jenkins with wide eyes. 

Just then, Jake comes in behind her, in the process of unstrapping his boxing gloves. “Hey, where’s Baird? She never showed up to spar.” 

“You can’t use that as an excuse every time something comes up,” Jenkins argues. Cassandra listens in closely. Jenkins, Flynn, and Eve frequently - unthinkingly, she hopes - leave the rest of them out of the world ending discussions. After Apep, she refuses to let it happen again. 

“Baird?” Jake murmurs to her.

Cassandra shakes her head. “No, the timeline thing, now shh!” she furiously whispers. 

“It’s a perfect excuse,” Flynn retorts. “Eve and I have lived this. I know you have a thing for being the sage, cryptic Caretaker-”

Jenkins’ mouth drops open. “That’s not even remotely the case-!”

Cassandra and Jake both lean in closer, but of course it’s that moment that Ezekiel chooses to stumble into the room. “Hey, have any of you guys seen Baird?”

“NO!”

Jenkins elaborates. “No, no one has seen Colonel Baird.  _ No one knows where Colonel Baird _ -” He cuts himself off, looking perplexed - “is…” he finishes lamely, the question clear in his tone. 

A loud thump draws Cassie’s attention from Jenkins to Flynn. His shoulders have been divested of both his bowling balls and shoes, and he stares listlessly into the middle distance. “No,” he murmurs, barely audible. “No,” he continues, slightly stronger, “it doesn’t make any sense - Nicole never left the Library, so Eve never met her, so Nicole never left, so Eve never went after her…” he goes on mumbling in a recursive loop that only makes sense to him. 

The other four people in the room exchange glances, but it’s Cassie who pushes Jake forward. Of all of them, Flynn has the closest bond with Jake. 

“Hey man,” Jake soothes, approaching Flynn with caution. The man himself is uncharacteristically still; frozen as his mind races with thoughts. “Do you know where Baird is? Is she okay?”

Flynn doesn’t look at him, doesn’t even look like he hears him. “It doesn’t make any sense,” he repeats, twisting his tethering ring about his finger. “Why would she…” 

Cassie feels genuine worry swell within her. “Tell us what’s going on!” She blurts out. 

Like he’s been struck by lightning, Flynn’s head jerks up. His gaze locks on Cassandra, an unhinged edge to it that makes her fight to return it. But she does, trying to inject calm and reassurance, though she’s feeling anything but those two things. 

But it works, and Flynn takes a deep breath before scanning each of them. “No,” he says worriedly. “Eve and I agreed none of you should know.”

Jake fights to keep his expression even. “Clearly this is something you guys didn’t account for, buddy, so maybe you should make an exception,” he reasons. 

Flynn sighs, hands still fidgeting. “In the original timeline,” he drags out. “Eve left. Like this.”

Ezekiel raises a hand in the back. “Uh… then why are you panicking? You know where she is; let’s go bring her back!” 

Flynn shuts his eyes like he’s trying to hold himself together, and the uncharacteristic expression on his face sends shivers down Cassandra’s spine. “The reason she left no longer exists. We had a… plan. To deal with this artifact. There’s no reason for her to run out like this…” he trails off, but Cassandra’s a probability genius. She hears the words he had a seventy-one point three repeating perfect chance of saying. 

_ unless something is very, very wrong.  _

-

Eve meets her target outside the mortuary, well aware that this is the first time the other woman has ever seen her. She keeps her stance and limbs loose and nonthreatening as her target runs out of the building, frantically looking down the street in search. 

Eve takes a step forward, catching her target’s eye. Her hands are visible and open. “Nicole,” she greets, “it’s nice to meet you.”

Nicole studies her, the suspicious obvious in her expression and stance. “Who are you? How do you know my name?” She demands, reaching behind her for the weapon that Eve knows she keeps there.

Eve shakes her head. “I’m not with the men who just robbed your grave, if that’s what you mean - they’re working for Rasputin, by the way.” Nicole’s mouth drops open, and she lowers herself into a fighting stance. Eve holds out her hands. “I mean you no harm,” she promises. “I’m Eve Baird. I’m the Guardian.”

Nicole's gaze runs up the length of her. Once. Twice. Then she straightens and relaxes. “I believe you,” she says finally, giving Eve a new kind of considering look.

Eve raises an eyebrow, dropping her hands. “I really thought you’d be tougher to convince,” she admits, walking up to the other woman, a hand outstretched. Nicole takes it, giving it one strong pump before releasing.

Then she grins, a freer expression than Eve has ever seen on her face, eyes catching on her bright red kerchief. “Guardian might be a difficult thing to guess, but I can see Flynn’s influence all over you.” Eve’s expression turns pained, and Nicole’s grin fades. “Wait, is Flynn alright? What’s wrong?”

Eve grimaces; of course that’s Nicole first thought. “No, Flynn’s fine. I promise,” she says hurriedly, trying not to think about how, at this exact moment, the man she promised forever to is finding that she has up and left. “I just… I had some bad news. From the Library. And everyone I trust basically lives there and-”

“-you need a place to lie low,” Nicole finishes. “Well, Guardian to Guardian, I’m happy to help.” She pauses. “Unless you’re planning to act against the Library,” she warns.

Eve tries not to think about the irony of that. “No, never,” she swears. “Flynn and I - we’re, well, we’re immortal now. It’s the Library’s doing.” 

Nicole’s gaze turns from suspicious back to concerned. “Realizing the downfalls of immortality?” She asks, throwing a leg over her bike and gesturing Eve on behind her. 

Eve wraps her arms around Nicole’s waist. “Something like that,” she replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope i didn't lose you guys with the sentient library. in my view, it can do what it wants. and it REALLY doesn't want eve to leave. you're also probably wondering why it even told her this, and all i'm gonna say is that it has a reason - whether good or bad, you'll see also the proposal is inspired by a hilarious post i saw on tumblr the other day.
> 
> so.. eve is struggling with the idea of being alone. i actually always found this a HUGE part of her character - she believes her existence as a guardian is linked to her protecting her librarians. so right now, she's struggling to realign her purpose. nicole's whole speech about having a damn good reason really inspired this story, and eve is about to figure out whether she has one with the library that she can actually get behind... or maybe she'll discover that she doesn't need one in the way that she thinks 
> 
> hope you enjoyed! <3


	4. chapter iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is by far my favorite chapter <3
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy!

Eve corrals Nicole to the nearest airport as soon as she can, booking them both a flight to the Ukraine. As much as her skin itches at the thought of seeing Flynn, she knows that Rasputin must be stopped. Hopefully, Flynn hasn’t noticed she’s left, and Nicole and she can wrap things up before the Library gets involved. 

“I have a few safe houses,” Nicole is saying as they buckle their seatbelts. The flight attendants begin their presentation as they roll to the runway, and Nicole hands Eve a folder out of her backpack. “A house in Sydney, an apartment in Tokyo, and a cottage in Peru if you’d really like to be out of reach,” she explains, a teasing edge entering her voice. 

Eve flips through the folder, plans forming quickly in her mind as she weighs the pros and cons of each location. “You don’t know how much this means to me,” she says to Nicole, giving the other Guardian a solemn look. “How can I repay you?”

Nicole shrugs. “We’re Guardians. We need to look out for each other - not to mention, Rasputin has been a thorn in my side for a long time. I’m glad to have some help with that.” She pauses, studying Eve. “Though, I would like to know one thing.”

“Shoot.”

“Why me?” She asks. “We’ve never met - I was at the very most a file you had to read. I’m sure you have contacts from your time at NATO - or family. Our closest connection is Flynn, and I have more reason to be loyal to him than you. Why did you choose to trust me?”

Eve sighs. “You’re right. I have contacts and family.” She pauses, muling over how much to tell Nicole before deciding that the woman deserves at least some of the truth. “You’re wrong, though, that we’ve never met.” Nicole looks confused, but gestures for her to continue. “There was… an alternate timeline. We met. We fought a little. There were… extenuating circumstances… that I’d rather not get into.”

Nicole inhales sharply. “Flynn’s visit to me,” she says. “In the 17th century. That was a result of these… extenuating circumstances?”

Eve nods. “We had this same adventure - you and me - together. And we both had different motivations then, but regardless of why you said what you said… it helped.”

“And you’re hoping I can do the same now,” Nicole finishes.

“Eve shrugs. “That would be a bonus,” Eve admits. “But honestly? I’m tired of lying and secrets and life-changing decisions. I need someone that understands more than what’s going on - I need someone who understands what it’s like be constantly surrounded by pesky, perceptive Librarians.”

Nicole bursts into laughter, causing the couple across the aisle from them to glare. “Pesky, perceptive Librarians,” she replies, “are a topic I know all too well.” She nods at Eve with a knowing smile. “If you want to talk, talk. If you want to hear silence for the first time in a few years, I have an extra pair of noise cancelling headphones in my bag.”

“If I wasn’t already eternally joined with someone, I’d marry you for that alone,” Eve jokes. 

They spend the rest of the flight in companionable silence. 

-

“Who needs a Librarian?” Nicole teases as she hands Eve up to the landing. They brush themselves off, and Eve scans the clearing for Flynn or Jenkins. 

She sees neither. She exhales, shoulders relaxing. 

“You do,” comes a voice from behind her. 

Before, that reply had sounded half peeved, half smug. But this time, Eve flinches for real.

This time, Flynn sounds  _ angry _ . 

It’s an atypical state for her Librarian, who is more likely to work himself into a frenzied state of frustration and desperation than to ever take a moment to express the infinitely more terrifying cool ire that now keeps his voice steady. Eve swallows, turning with Nicole to face the newcomers. 

Cool, disinterested eyes pass over Nicole to land on her, immediately scanning her for any evidence telling him why she is acting so contrary to what he’s used to. Though every instinct in her is screaming at her to run, Eve stands tall, raising an eyebrow, allowing him to finish. 

When his eyes finally meet hers, he goes from cool calculation to something more desperate. The desperation only makes her senses that are telling her to escape louder, and she wonders whether this is how Flynn had felt for all those times she asked him to stay. She can see herself in him - his concern, his pursed lips, the way his fingers twitch like he wants her in his arms. But she sees more too - that legendary focus, that brilliant mind, all playfulness and awkwardness vanishing and leaving behind the smartest man in the world. It’s not her ego that tells her that all he wants is her, and she’s only two steps away from him. 

Emotionally, it feels like miles. 

Still, he takes a step forward, then another, until she is close enough to pull into his arms. 

He evidently holds her slightly longer than Jenkins is willing to tolerate in the current circumstances, because after several long moments, he clears his throat. “Ms. Noone,” he greets, and they could be doing a secret handshake for all Eve knows, because Flynn’s hand is pressing her forehead down into his shoulder with a surprising amount of force. 

“Jenkins, it’s good to see you,” Nicole replies, “but I’m afraid we’re a bit of a sideshow right now.” 

Jenkins mutters something like: ‘tell me about it,’ but Eve doesn’t have time to piece it together before Flynn is pulling back, keeping his hands firmly on her shoulders like he thinks she’ll disappear if he’s not touching her. “Nicole,” he greets warmly, but he doesn’t take his eyes off of Eve. “We’ll catch up in a moment, but right now, I need a word with my Guardian.” The possessive adjective is delivered low and with emphasis, and Eve is torn between the heat that causes in her stomach, and the overwhelming desire to roll her eyes at his dramatics.

He leads her a few meters away. “What’s going on, Eve?” He whispers furiously. “None of this was part of the plan. You know, the plan? That  _ you  _ created?” She opens her mouth to respond, but can’t muster up the words. At her uncharacteristic silence, his anger fades to concern so quickly that she knows he’s close to catching on. “Honey, tell me what’s wrong,” he continues, the grating edge to his voice gone. “I promise we can work through it. Did something throw off the plan? Did Nicole contact you? This isn’t an exact science, you know, it’s okay if something’s different.” 

Eve finally finds her words, but she has to look off to the side. If she looks at him, she sees his death.  _ His death that will come before hers _ . “It doesn’t matter right now,” she replies, fully aware that he can read the obvious lie like an ancient Egyptian text. “Right now, we need to find Rasputin, get the Needle, and make sure both Nicole and Jenkins come out of this alright.” 

Flynn narrows his eyes. “No,” he says sharply, and the command in his tone throws her. “No, we’re not going anywhere until-”

Shots suddenly rain down around them, and Eve sidesteps Flynn to throw herself at Jenkins. She pulls him out of the way, watching as Flynn does the same with Nicole.

Once they’re separated, Eve gestures for Jenkins to follow her. “Follow my lead,” she orders, and Jenkins for once in his life just nods. “We’re going to get out of here.”

“And then will you return to the Library?” He ventures. Eve says nothing, and he sighs. “That’s what I suspected.”

-

Flynn watches as his current and ex Guardian subdue the last henchman with an easy showing of teamwork. Rasputin had met the same radiation-caused death mere moments ago after nearly stabbing Flynn with Koschei's Needle, only this time he was mortal when Eve pulled the same maneuver as she did in the last timeline. Jenkins is calling Cassandra to set up another door while Eve puts in a call to a former colleague who now works in Ukrainian intelligence. 

Flynn helps Nicole secure the last unconscious henchman with some of the old chains that used to hang around the gates of the plant. Earlier, Nicole had told him that Eve simply showed up in England. When he had pressed further, Nicole had simply shaken her head. 

“You mean a lot to me, Flynn. You always have,” she had said, a fond smile crossing her expression before it faded into something more like iron. “But if you want to know what’s going on with your Guardian, you should ask her yourself.” 

He had been a little - okay, a lot - surprised at Nicole’s easy loyalty to Eve, but after considering it more, it makes sense. They have a shared experience he will never understand. Nicole has an outside perspective that’s valuable, especially to someone like Eve who thrives on objectivity. Still, it hurts that she’s not yet confided in him. 

Eve is saying her goodbyes when he walks up behind her, waiting for her to finish before speaking. 

“Jenkins has my notes for the next week’s missions,” he begins. She doesn’t turn around to face him, but he presses on. “He’s making a reservation for us in that cottage in the Appalachians you like so much. A few steps through… hmmm..  _ that _ door,” he says, stepping up behind her and pointing to a random door over her shoulder, “and it’ll be just you and me for as long as you need. I promise.” 

“Flynn…” Eve tries, voice low and soft, too soft, so he doesn’t let her speak. 

Instead he steps so close that her back brushes against his chest, waiting for that beautiful moment where she sinks against him. It doesn’t happen, and he fights against his rising panic. “It had that hot tub, remember, honey? I won’t even talk once we get there - I’ll be absolutely quiet if you need - until you’re ready to talk, and then I’ll listen. I swear, Eve, just don’t-”

_ don’t run _ , he wants to say. 

The words choke in his throat. How can he beg her not to run when he’s done it so many times? When he’s ignored her begging every time? Is this how she feels when he promises to stay and breaks it without a thought? It feels a little like dying, and he should know, after all the times he’s come so close. 

Eve knows what he doesn’t say, because of course she does. She knows him better than he knows himself. “Don’t promise me that,” she says finally, voice breaking. “Don’t promise me you won’t speak - or - Flynn, I would never ask you to be less than you are. Never again.” 

He warms from the inside out. Even when they’re fighting, she’s protecting his soul. “Tell me what you want.” 

“I can’t...”   
  
“Then tell me what you need.” 

She sighs. “Right now?” She asks, and he nods frantically, his chin brushing against her hair with every movement. “Space,” she admits, sounding as sorry as he feels.

“And you won’t tell me why?” He questions, fighting back irritation. “Nothing? Not even a hint?”

Her posture straightens, a clear sign to him of her own irritation. “This isn’t a puzzle, Flynn. This isn’t something you can solve.” 

Flynn makes an impatient noise in the back of his throat: half growl, half sigh. “Just - will you just turn around for a second?” With a slow exhale, she does, though she won’t meet his eyes. “You helped me stay,” he tells her. “Staying, I can do. I can do anything as long as I have you and the Library. But staying without you? That’s new, Eve,” he admits. “That’s not in my bag of tricks.” 

She can’t help but let a small smile play at her lips. “You don’t stop growing as a person because you’ve learned one basic human skill, Librarian,” she murmurs, but he can tell from her voice that she’s deeply proud of how far he’s come. 

He chuckles along with her, relishing in the brief moment of teasing. “Come home,” he pleads, finally, just straight out.

“I can’t.” 

“ _ Why _ ?” 

She struggles for a moment, her mouth opening and closing. Then she takes his hands, squeezing tightly. “Ask yourself: why us? Why did we choose to tether?”

Before he can question her further, she releases him, striding for Nicole. 

“Eve,” he calls after her, panicky. “Eve, what if we need you - what if  _ I _ -”

Jenkins stops him with a gentle hand on his chest. “Let her go, Mr. Carsen. Whatever this is about, it cannot be quickly solved. It’s no simple matter.”

“You’re damn right it’s not simple,” he agrees, narrowing his eyes as the two women hotwire a truck and drive off. Neither looks back. “And I don’t care. I’m one of the smartest people on the planet. I’m not waiting for her to figure this out.”

He expects Jenkins to waffle, to tell him to give the poor woman her space, but instead he nods firmly. “This has gone on long enough.”

Flynn hums in agreement. “Thank y-” he begins emphatically, before something in Jenkins’ words catches his attention. “Wait,” he continues, suddenly suspicious. “What do you mean, long enough? This began two days ago.”

Jenkins sighs. “Oh no, Mr. Carsen. This began several months ago.” He pauses, and Flynn gapes at him. “And I believe I know just who began it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i LOVE the 'who needs a librarian' 'you do' exchange, so i had to repurpose it haha


	5. chapter iv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feat: an unexpected fight, jenkins' speech giving ability, and ezekiel being mad about chivalry. 
> 
> honestly, jenkins' voice really felt good to me here? 
> 
> also: spot the borrowed marvel line. hint: cacw.

It feels kind of like… well, Flynn would never admit it out loud, but it feels kind of like telling a bunch of kids that their parents are getting a divorce.

And to Flynn’s own surprise, he knows these kids. Well enough to know that Ezekiel’s loud questions, his accent present and thick, is to draw their attention away from the nerves that he holds in his shoulders and hands. That the look on Jake’s face is because he fought back the urge to throw his own questions to check on Cassandra, whose stillness is because her uncertainty has caused her to turn to her formulas. 

His train of thought breaks when Ezekiel paces up to Flynn, repeating his first query. “What do you mean Baird is  _ gone _ ?” 

“Mr. Carsen and I do not have any more answers than you,” Jenkins is saying, causing Ezekiel to break from glaring at Flynn to turn his ire on Jenkins. Cassandra is still staring into the middle distance, likely trying every probability function she knows, and Jake has a solid arm around her waist in comfort. 

“Bullshit,” Ezekiel announces. “You _ always _ know more than us.”

Cassandra’s eyes lose their glassy look as she narrows in on Jenkins, who looks almost betrayed at the expression. Cassandra usually agrees with him, and she’s closer with him than the rest of them. To have her anger directed toward him is unusual. “No, he’s right,” she says. “You three… two… are always leaving us out of these kinds of discussions.”

Flynn takes this in with a little surprise - before remembering that these Librarians are likely still smarting from Apep. He wonders if they had felt like this in the other timeline, before concluding that whatever their feelings had been, they have been likely exacerbated by Flynn and Eve’s reticence to discuss the other timeline. Jenkins clearly hasn’t helped either; Flynn hadn’t picked up on the fact that he knew something about Eve’s disappearance, but it looks like Cassandra had because he does not look surprised at her accusation. 

“We’ve had this conversation before, Miss Cillian,” Jenkins replies, shuttered and clear, confirming Flynn’s suspicions. 

Cassandra turns a little red as she glares at the Caretaker. “And we’ll have it as many times as we need to for it to sink into your head that we are a team!” She exclaims.

Jake retracts his arm from around her, but steps so they’re shoulder to shoulder. A united front. “She’s right, guys. Baird’s our Guardian, and Flynn - you talked to her. You’re the only one who has any hints - and you’re being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.”

Flynn pushes himself off the desk. “It’s me,” he says quietly.

“What do you mean, it’s you?” Ezekiel asks. 

Flynn sighs. “I offered her a break from all of this, from the Library, and she turned me down. She wants space,” he says the words harsh on his tongue. “ _ Space. _ I thought she hated space…” 

“Mr. Carsen…” Jenkins warns. 

Flynn finally looks up, and the room goes silent at the sight of his bloodshot eyes. “She’s our Guardian. But she’s also my fiance. My partner. The person who swore to spend eternity with me.”

Any annoyance that Cassandra feels fades at his words. Sadness swells up her throat when she really looks at him. “Oh Flynn,” she murmurs, “I’m so sorry.” She inches forward like she’s approaching a wounded animal, watching for any signs that he doesn’t want anyone close. When he doesn’t move, she tentatively wraps her arms around him. “Let us help.” She feels his arms return the embrace, and she breathes him in: wood and chemicals and parchment and protection. Part of the unit that’s the closest thing she has to family. 

Flynn pulls back after a moment, brushing a thumb to catch one of her tears. “Thank you,” he says, low and earnest.

Jake walks forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Baird is the one who looks out for us - for our breaking points, for our feelings. Marcus Aurelius asked: ‘how much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it?’ We can’t fight each other right now. We have to stick together.”

Ezekiel locks eyes with Flynn, nodding in obvious apology. Flynn returns it. “You’re right,” he sighs. “Jenkins, tell them everything we know.” 

Jenkins nods. “Yes Sir.” Ezkiel pulls over chairs for everyone as Jake readies the chalkboard. Cassandra doesn’t leave Flynn’s side, and though he knows he would usually feel offended at her hovering, right now he can only find comfort. 

“First,” Jenkins announces once they’ve settled. “Mr. Carsen, tell us exactly what the Colonel told you.” 

Flynn slumps a little in memory of the words, trying to fight the embarrassment inherent with airing something so personal. “She said: ‘Ask yourself: why us? Why did we choose to tether?’” He pauses. “In the other timeline,” he says reluctantly, “I had… doubts. About the Library. About staying. Eve told me to trust the institution.” 

Jake hums, scribbling the word ‘institution’ across the board. Once he does, he taps the chalk with finality against the surface, deep in thought. “So she tethered because she trusted the institution. Trusted the Library?”

Flynn shakes his head, chin in his hands as he leans his elbows on his knees. “No, she said the institution was us,” he corrects. “She trusted us.” 

Ezekiel brightens, waving his hand in the air. “Oh this is easy! What have you done to break her trust recently -  _ ow!  _ Cass!” 

Cassandra retracts her elbow, smiling sunnily. “He’s an idiot, don’t mind him,” she tells Flynn, who gives her a grateful smile in response.

“As much as I hate to agree with him,” Flynn replies, “our resident thief might have a point. But I’ve been thinking over it for hours.” He scratches his head, sighing. “Everything was fine - no, more than that. It was good. Well, everything…” 

“What is it?” Jake prods, crossing his arms after he adds ‘us’ to the board, putting Flynn and Eve’s names beside it underlined with the rest of their names surrounded by question marks.    


Flynn looks thoughtful. “When we went to Santa’s party, she disappeared to talk to him. It didn’t happen in the original timeline, so it struck me a little. But she said it was fine - that he wanted to congratulate us.” 

Jenkins clears his throat, walking around his desk to join the conversation. “No, Santa wouldn’t have sought the Colonel out alone merely to congratulate her,” he says, picking up his own piece of chalk and adding ‘Santa bc immortality?’ to the board, causing Flynn to sink deeper into thought, something niggling at his brain. “I suspect it has something to do with what we discussed on the return trip,” he says meaningfully, raising an eyebrow at Flynn. 

There’s a long pause, and Ezekiel makes a rolling motion with his hands. “Well? Out with it, mate!” 

Flynn and Jenkins exchange a look. “A day or two after we fought Apep,” Jenkins begins, “Eve told you all that she was going to speak to DOSA. In actuality, she went down to the Heart of the Library. I have no proof of this, but I suspect she was going-”

“-to meet Charlene,” Flynn finishes grimly.

The three newer Librarians exchange looks. “Charlene’s dead,” Jake interjects, speaking slowly and clearly as if he thinks they’ve lost their minds. “We saw her go through the mirror.”

Jenkins clears his throat. “You all are laboring under a misapprehension that the mirrorlands are the equivalent of an afterlife. They are actually more of a limbo. If the Library has a need for Charlene or Judson, it can call them back for an indeterminable amount of time.”

“But the Library controls it,” Flynn adds. “They don’t have control over when or for how long they return. Jenkins suspects that Charlene was only supposed to appear to Eve, and swore her to secrecy.” He pauses. “And… I agree with him.” He rubs his eyes. “Eve and I don’t have secrets. After Apep, however, we do have a code, of sorts. If there’s something one of us needs to keep to ourselves, he or she tells the other that.”

“What did Eve tell you?” Cassandra asks.

“That she was working on something with the Library - meant only for Guardians. After comparing notes with Jenkins-”

“- You think that she meant more than one Guardian,” Cassie realizes. 

Flynn shrugs. “I wasn’t worried,” he says, looking a bit like he wants to bang his head against a wall for not inquiring further. “I… liked it. The Library and I have known each other for so long; I thought it was wonderful that it wanted to… catch her up, I suppose. How could I have been so blind?”

Ezekiel snorts. “Mate, if you were to blame, I’d be the first in line to mess you up. But you’re not - Baird’s tougher than anyone. It’s not just Library lessons that got us here, that’s for sure.”

Cassandra nods. “He’s right, Flynn. We need to split up, research tethering. The Library has to want her back; it’ll help us, I’m sure.” 

Jenkins nods. “Good thinking, Miss Cillian. I’ll draw up a research timetable.”

Flynn stands. “Sounds like we have a plan: Baird style.” He fights against the sadness that washes over him, instead smiling at the four people awaiting his instructions. “Okay, two people will remain back at all times working on our Guardian-less-ness. If the clipping book sends us something, no one goes alone. Cassandra and Ezekiel will not go on any missions without Jacob or me for back-up. He’ll take the Staff and I’ll have Excalibur to do a bit of magical Guardian-ing.” He swallows, trying not to think of all the times that Eve would have called him out for not using real words. “Right, any questions?”

Jake clears his throat. “Not a question, but…” he trails off. “We know how much time you spend with Baird - if you… don’t want to be alone…” 

Flynn pushes down the urge to equivocate, instead nodding. He’ll give Eve something to come back to. He’ll show her that he not only knows how to stay, but how to be the anchor. He’d do anything for her. “Thank you.” He turns to the group. “Now, where should we start?”

Ezekiel is already sprinting for Eve’s and his desk. “Hacking the laptop!” He shouts joyously. “Time to find all those juicy secrets.” He comes to a sudden halt, turning to point a finger at Flynn. “I’m not gonna find anything… revealing, right? I’ve seen you without a shirt on, and that’s where it stops for me, mate.” 

Flynn sputters. “Uh, no no no, we’re not teenagers, Jones! Why would you even-” but Ezekiel is already booting up the computer, fingers twitching in preparation. 

“I’ll pull out the book on tethering,” Jenkins announces, making for the card catalog. 

Jake follows him. “Switch with me,” he says, “you take immortality; you’re the expert there.” Jenkins nods, and they go quiet. 

“I’m going down to the Heart,” Cassandra says, taking a notepad, a ziplock bag, and a pair of gloves from her bag like she’s been waiting for the day she gets to do forensics. “If there’s any evidence of what Eve was doing-” 

“-I’m with you,” Flynn interjects, smiling almost against his will as she struggles with the latex gloves. “But I’ll meet you down there. I’m going to look into Nicole - none of this will be of any use if we don’t find out where Eve is, and Nicole’s helping her.” 

-

Days pass with no clues. It doesn’t help that the world is keeping them busy with low-level, annoyingly time consuming missions. Flynn can feel the well of sympathy for him dry up as he begins to isolate himself. He shows up for missions, closing them as fast as possible with little concern for his tact before he retreats back to the Library. It’s getting more and more difficult for him to make an effort to talk with the others about how they’re feeling, keeping his conversations confined to work and updates about Eve. 

It’s different from how he used to pull back. Now, he knows it’s wrong. He knows he’s making a mistake. Even the logical voice in the back of his head reminding him that getting Eve back is the priority, and apologies can wait until he’s spent at least one night wrapped in her arms, is beaten back by his own conscience. The one Eve helped him develop, the one that tells him that even if Eve returns and everything is fine, he can’t use her as a buffer forever. 

He’s supposed to teach these Librarians. To make them better. But he doesn’t know how, especially when the person who makes him better is gone. 

It all comes to a head with Jake one evening, when he brings him no answers and asks him if he wants to join them for a drink in the same breath. Flynn’s eyes narrow, and he bites back that it’s a waste of time. He sees a flash of hurt before frustration and anger take over and they’re yelling.

They’re both smart men, and it doesn’t take either long to find the pressure points for each other, and the shouted words turn into daggers. Deep down, Flynn doesn’t mean any of it. But that doesn’t stop him. 

“You’re selfish and rude and cruel,” Jake says, pointing an accusing finger in his direction. “No wonder you were alone for so long - I’m shocked Baird can even  _ stand  _ you.” 

Flynn’s heart gives a hard thump in his chest before it turns to stone. “Stand  _ me _ ? The real miracle is how she manages to listen to you three whine about your problems while putting her body between yours and death and come out alive every time!” 

“She’s a great Guardian, even when you make her cry because you’re so insensitive,” Jake bites back. “And if you’re so annoyed by us, maybe you should just go look for her on your own. We don’t need you here. We never have.” 

The insinuation that he has made her cry, especially in front of the others, makes Flynn shut down. “Maybe it’s the Library that doesn’t need three extra nuisances,” he says, icy and sharp. 

Jake storms out of the Annex, heading into the Library. Flynn watches him go for a moment before he turns on the mirror, stepping up so its surface is mere inches from his face. 

“Tell me what you told her!” He yells at the mirror, its reflective surface achingly blank. “Tell me!” His hands ball up into fists, and he knows if it were any other object, one that didn’t contain his last link to Judson and Charlene, he might not have the restraint to consciously relax his hands. 

“She won’t come, you know.” 

Flynn doesn’t turn, but he lets out a short, self-deprecating laugh as Jenkins joins him in front of the mirror. “Maybe you’ll have better luck,” he bites, glaring at the mirror. Only his reflection glares back, and if he were less frustrated, maybe he would wonder whether it’s a metaphor for anything. 

Right now, there’s no symbolism. What it shows is what it is. It’s the lack of Charlene, the lack of Eve, the lack of the stability that he has grown to crave.

“Mmm, no,” Jenkins replies, staring at their reflections. “I’m quite used to disappointment when it comes to love.” Flynn breaks his glare with the mirror to cast a sympathetic look at Jenkins. “I passed Mr. Stone on the way in here,” he adds carefully. “He did not seem well.” 

Flynn’s glare returns. “This is hard for me too,” he retorts to the unasked question. “It’s Eve’s job - saying the right things and guarding and  _ staying. _ ” The last word comes out like a curse. “It’s Eve who holds us together, holds  _ me _ together. Here. I’m a runner,” he announces, bouncing on his heels as if to illustrate the fact, spreading out his arms in an angry shrug. 

Jenkins peers at him over his spectacles in the mirror. “I don’t know whether you’re an idiot or just being purposely obtuse,” he points out evenly, and Flynn flinches, suppressing the urge to spit vitriol right back. “The world isn’t divided into people who run and people who stay - or whatever other drivel has been driven into your skull. It’s very clearly divided into people who learn and people who don’t. And sir, you’re a learner if I've ever seen one.”

Flynn shakes his head, gesturing to the shelves around them. “Sure, learning from lectures and books. There are no books about this.” He tries to hold onto his anger because he’s tired of just being sad, but it’s slipping from his grasp. Defeated. That’s what he is now. 

Jenkins rolls his eyes. “You of all people know that things worth learning do not exist only in books. Experiment. Fail. Change your hypothesis. It’s time to be the Librarian you claim to be and l _ earn _ .” 

Jenkins holds eye contact with Flynn for a long moment, hard and stubborn. Finally, Flynn slumps. “I miss her,” he admits miserably. 

Jenkins softens. “I know. But there is a silver lining,” he points out. “They trust you to fix this. Show them that their belief is not misplaced.” 

Flynn nods, straightening, before turning a bemused look on Jenkins. “You know, you’re not too shabby at this pep talk thing,” he points out, taking one last, long look at the mirror. Jenkins makes a half hum, half grunt noise in response, but Flynn thinks he might’ve blushed a little, which he considers a win. “I need to find Stone,” he says reluctantly. 

Jenkins watches him leave, smiling to himself when Flynn waves a careless hand at his wish of luck. He waits until the other man is out of earshot before turning back to the mirror. 

He stares at it for a long time, not sure if he’s waiting for something or just looking for a quiet moment to himself. Whatever it is, his reflection never changes, and he heaves a deep sigh. 

“This is exceptionally difficult for him. For them,” he says softly. “Whatever you told her, I hope it was worth it.”

There’s a flash of light in the mirror, too quick for his eye to follow, and Jenkins gives it a wistful smile. “Good night, my love,” he whispers, turning out the light as he makes for his lab. 

Charlene watches him leave, a fond smile crossing her own lips. Once the sound of his footsteps fade, she peers out into the silent Annex.

“Come on, Colonel,” she whispers to no one, and then the room is empty. 

  
  


-

Flynn knows that Jake’s favorite room of the Library is artificial garden built for the Fountain of Youth. He spares a thought wondering if he should clean up and wash his face before confronting the other Librarian, before deciding it’s better to heal things as soon as possible. If they’re healable at all. 

He knocks on the open door to the gardens, cringing when Jake looks over at him with red-lined eyes from the bench next to the Fountain. “Can I…? I mean, is it too much to ask for a do-over?”

Jake chuckles tiredly, gesturing him in. “Nah, man, this one’s on me too.” 

Flynn approaches with caution, settling on the edge of the Fountain so he can watch Jake’s expressions as they speak. “I’m not like Eve,” he says finally. “I don’t know the right thing to do all the time. I don’t have any… sage emotional advice for you.” 

Jake shakes his head. “You don’t understand,” he says. “Maybe Baird gets through to you with deep quotes or whatever, but for her and me… it’s not like that. Mostly, she just listens.” He sighs. “Before all this, no one really cared what I thought - I mean, they cared what Oliver Thompson and my other aliases thought about art, and my men under me at the rig listened to my orders, but no one cared what Jacob Stone thought. What I was going through. Until Baird.” 

Flynn nods. “I never really needed Eve to listen to me,” he replies thoughtfully. “I needed her to remind me of what’s important - sometimes, to beat it into my skull. I guess I never really thought about how she helped you guys.” He sighs. “But I want to learn,” he adds earnestly. “So, if you’d like, I’d like to listen.” 

Jake smiles. “Thanks, man.” He is silent for a long moment, then: “I mean, I do want you to spend time with us - I’m worried about you, making yourself isolated like you’ve been doing. And selfishly, you make me feel… more secure, I guess.” He shrugs. “But really, I guess I’m just kinda angry, you know? Eve was the first person that I’ve ever really trusted, and she left without a word. I hate it, because she’s never asked for anything from us, and so I know begrudging her some time to deal with… whatever it is… is stupid and selfish, but I just want her here. I keep turning and asking for advice or training or what have you, and she’s just gone.” He stops talking, and there’s an even longer silence. Finally, he looks at Flynn with amusement. “You can speak, you know. It’s kinda weird, not hearing you talk.”

Flynn exhales with a small smile. “Thanks. I don’t know if this helps, but… I do the same thing. I don’t want to make her sound like a 1950s housewife, but I always had her to come home too. With. Whatever. I rely on her, and I didn’t know how much until now.” 

Jake looks surprised. “Really? You’re always so… Flynn Carsen. I know you miss her, but you seem to be going about things just fine.”

Flynn shakes his head. “I do,” he agrees, “but it’s mostly to hide the fact that I’m only two steps away from a full on panic attack.” He sighs. “Eve’s the only person that I’ve broken down in front of in over a decade,” he admits. “You have to know that I trust you three with a lot - the Library, your jobs. But I don’t know how to trust you with… that.” He huffs out a laugh. “The truth is - I’m a mess. You don’t need to see that.”

Jake looks thoughtful. “I think I do,” he says slowly. “This is kinda weird to admit, but it’s kinda like you and Darrington Dare, right? I want to be the best Librarian I can be, and not to blow up your already huge ego, but you’re that, man. You’re really good. You and Baird…” he sighs. “I was kinda intimidated, you know. When you came back full time. You guys could do a mission like  _ that _ ,” he says, snapping his fingers for emphasis. “Easy. So earlier, when you said you and Baird could do this alone…”

Flynn sits up straight, eyes wide. “No, I didn’t mean it,” he corrects hurriedly. “Without you three, I’d be dead. Probably several times over. Do I like going on adventures with just Eve?” He shrugs lightly, cheeks turning pink. “Yeah, I mean. She’s my Guardian. But she loves you guys, and I…” He swallows hard, looking away. “You’re my - I mean, I’ve never said it, but I can’t imagine being  _ the _ Librarian again. I like being a Librarian.” He rubs the back of his neck, sheepish. “Even though I’m not the best at showing it.” 

Jake gives him a genuine smile. “You know,” he says, and there is a weight behind his voice that makes Flynn listen carefully. “It’s not important if we need you.” Flynn flinches, but then Jake is there, putting a hand on his shoulder. “We want you here,” he corrects seriously, before a joking smile breaks up the moment. “Even when you’re calling us nuisances.” 

Flynn grins back, seeing the tease for what it is. “You are nuisances,” he retorts, but the accusation is light and playful.

Jake snorts, holding out a hand. “Drink?”

Flynn lets him pull him to his feet. “One,” he agrees. “I’m working after.”

Jake nudges him as they make their way out of the Library. “It’s a start,” he says. “I’ll come back too - after. To help you with translations,” he adds. 

Flynn raises an eyebrow, trying to hide the way his heart swells at even the smallest offering of help after the way they had just fought. He doesn’t think he deserves it, but Stone was right about him being selfish. He’ll take it anyways. “Fastest through the text buys next week’s round, then?”

Jake calls Cassie and Ezekiel down from the upper level of the Annex; both smile when they see that he’s managed to corral Flynn into going with them. “A weekly thing?” Jake asks as he holds out Cassie’s coat for her. 

“If your wallet can take it,” Flynn replies with a wink, presenting Ezekiel’s coat to him with an exaggerated flourish when he complains about the lack of fairness that Cassandra gets all the nice gestures.

He grabs the coat from Flynn with a disgusted sigh, but there’s a faint smile at the edge of his mouth. Cassie and Jake tug him to follow them to Jenkins’ car, and the conversation quickly dissolves into an argument about who’s driving. The air is full of smiles and laughter.

To Flynn’s reeling psyche, it feels like a lifeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jenkins is not having any of your 'running and staying' crap, moriarty. 
> 
> so, saying you're gonna keep things together and actually doing it are very different, huh flynn? don't worry, he's on a learning curve guys. 
> 
> honestly, flynn arguing with jake is WAY overdue in the series. to me, they're the two that care about eve the most, and flynn has very clear tensions with ezekiel and cassie, but nothing with jake. and with jake being the de facto older sibling of the LITs, there was some stuff that needed to be discussed. so don't be too mad about them being jerks to each other. they're sorry, i promise. 
> 
> comment for more feelings! <3


	6. chapter v

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka ezekiel and nicole talk some sense into two of our favs <3

Ezekiel comes upon Cassie deep in the stacks. She’s been gone for hours, and with Flynn and Jake finishing up a mission, he had decided to bring her some tea and a snack, courtesy of Jenkins.

He hadn’t expected to find her sprawled out on the floor, nowhere near the desk where several, very old books lay open. She looks… lost. It’s an unfamiliar look on her, at least in the last year or so. He takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders before making himself known.

He sits next to her, his worry deepening when she doesn’t smile at him, doesn’t even look over at him. “Cass?” He ventures. She says nothing, but her fingers twitch, bright yellow polish tapping on the wooden floor. She’s always so bright, except for the moments she’s not. “I brought you tea. Jenkins made it special - you know he loves you the most.”

That gets a tiny smile, before it disappears as fast as it came. She exhales noisily, and he quiets, waiting. “I figured it out,” she says finally. She clears her throat, humming delicately. It’s clear from the weighty tone of her voice what she means, and though he wants to rush in, ask her a million questions, he forces himself to imagine what Baird would do. Baird would wait. Baird would let her speak. 

His intuition pays off. “There’s a prophecy,” she continues, smiling without any happiness behind her eyes. “It’s… bad.” She haltingly tells him what the prophecy says - that Eve is the final Guardian, that she’s going to outlive them all, even Flynn. Despite his best intentions not to be, Ezekiel is deeply empathetic. He loves how much Flynn and Eve love each other, though he’d never say it to either of them, especially Flynn. Their love makes him feel… secure. He imagines that security disappearing, and a gaping ache shoots through his stomach. Yep, anyone would run. Even Eve. 

Cassandra hunches over more at the long silence. “I felt bad for her at first,” she adds after a while, motioning to the dried tears on her cheek with a wet, half-hearted laugh. “I didn’t want to come find you guys like this.”

Something in her words strikes Ezekiel. “At first?” He asks. He’s not sure how to  _ stop _ feeling bad for her. Bad for all of them. And he’d really like to. 

Cassandra shrugs, not meeting his eyes. “It’s stupid,” she admits. “And not important. Right now, Flynn needs to know…”

Ezekiel turns to face her, crossing his legs. “C’mon, Cass, I know you. If you let something bother you for too long, it’ll come out at the worst moment.” He pauses, watching her carefully. “And I’m getting the sense that this is something you’d rather the others not know.” She flinches, and he nods to himself. “Tell me. What am I going to do, judge you? After everything I’ve done?”

Cassandra can’t help but giggle, genuinely this time, and Ezekiel counts it as a win. “Okay okay,” she acquiesces. “It’s just… everything we’ve been asking, you know? To be included, to be valued. I thought I was asking for the good of the team.”   


“You are,” Ezekiel urges. “Flynn, Baird, and Jenkins don’t have all the answers, yeah?”

She shakes her head. “I thought my motives were pure, but they’re not!” She argues, louder, tearfully, and Ezekiel is taken aback. “I realized it, when I translated the prophecy. I don’t have some big destiny like them. No prophecy, no record setting. We’re…  _ I’m _ … not like them.” 

Ezekiel furrows a brow, trying to piece this all together. “I don’t know what to tell you,” he tries. “You’re not Flynn or Baird. That immortal stuff is above our already meager pay-grade, if you ask me.”

Cassandra shrugs, a self-deprecating smile crossing her face. “I know - and I know it’s stupid,” she repeats. “The Library gave me a family. It helped me deal with my mortality, but without the tumor… sometimes it just feels like there’s nothing more I’m working towards.”

Ezekiel doesn’t say anything - waiting for her to continue.

“And seeing Eve and Flynn in that prophecy book, in the ledger… Their names are in gold, Zeke. There are so many empty pages waiting for them to fill. When I was visited by the Ladies of the Lake… I don’t know. I guess I thought that I was going to be important too, but there’s no mention of me at all.”

_ Ah ha. _ Ezekiel leans forward. He can handle this one. “Listen up, because I’m not gonna feed your ego more than once: you  _ are  _ important, Cassandra Cillian. You’re amazing - no one can do what you can do.”

Cassandra sighs, finally meeting his eyes. He tries to make sure his faith in her is reflected in them. “Flynn can do what I can do,” she points out. “It just takes him a little longer.”

He huffs, frustrated. “You know what? You’re right. As much as it kills me to admit, Flynn’s a genius.  _ The _ genius. If you locked him in a room for a week, he could probably learn all the things that me and Stone do too. You don’t see us being sad about not being in a book.”

Cassandra’s eyes narrow, his words causing her to sit up straight. “That’s not fair,” she replies, her voice rising.

Ezekiel is not finished. “You’re struggling to find a new place because you’re not used to being stagnant. You want to learn and grow, and I get that. But remember when Flynn never managed to stay because he thought his value was out in the world, alone? We set him straight. So this is me, setting you straight.”

Cassandra opens her mouth to reply, an angry furrow between her brows, before she stops. “I- I - Oh fish sticks, you’re right.”

He softens. “This destiny stuff can get a bit much, right? I’ll deny this if you ever tell anyone, but it’s a lot for me and probably Stone too sometimes. You can talk to us about it. Baird too. Flynn if you’re desperate, just don’t bring me into it.” He nudges her, and she giggles. “We all have doubts, but you shouldn’t let them become envy. Otherwise, we’re gonna have to hide the Apple of Discord deeper in the Library.”

Cassandra is full on laughing at this point, and he smiles as her expression clears. “Power grids of the world, watch out,” she says, trying to catch her breath. He stands, helping her to her feet as well. “This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop pushing them to let us in,” she warns.

Ezekiel scoffs. “It better not!” He says. “C’mon,” he adds, holding out an arm to her, “let’s go rub it in Flynn’s face that you figured it out before him.” 

When he realizes what he’s said, he goes quiet, and Cassandra looks up at him with big, watery eyes. “This is going to suck,” she says matter-of-factly.

The achy, gaping feeling is back in Ezekiel’s stomach. “You said it,” he murmurs, and they make their way to the Annex in silence, each trying to think up the best way to tell Flynn that one day, some day, he’s going to leave the woman he loves alone in the world. 

-

It’s a fair, sunny day in Sydney - a city that Nicole has not been to in about five years. Still, the cafe near her safe house is as good as she remembers, and she takes a long sip of tea as she waits. 

A familiar voice has her craning her neck and waving to her friend, standing as she approaches. “Guardian,” she greets with a smile, pressing a kiss to Eve’s cheek.

“Guardian,” Eve returns, taking her seat. A server appears, and she greets him by name and rattles off a familiar order. The young man blushes, leaning in a bit too close to collect her menu.

“I see you have an admirer,” Nicole teases when the man is out of earshot.

Eve huffs out a laugh. “And what you do think would scare him off faster: the immortality thing or the Guardian thing?”

Nicole grins. “What, no jealous Flynn slicing him up with Excalibur?”

Eve rolls her eyes, but there is a weighty sadness in them at the name of her partner. “You know he’d be more likely to trip and fall over himself while blustering away.”

Nicole winks. “How adorable.”

Eve smiles. “Mmm - I tried to call him that once. Adorable, I mean. I think he was a little offended-” she cuts herself off, narrowing her eyes at Nicole. “I see what you’re trying to do.”

Nicole sighs, dropping the smile. “You asked me here, presumably to talk about whatever has caused your… vacation.” She leans forward, propping her elbows up on the table. “But it clearly is not what I expected. Flynn Carsen is… difficult to love. I know that better than anyone.” 

Eve tenses. “Are we going to have a problem?”

Nicole leans back, waving a hand. “No, I have no desire to feed his ego, and considering you two have been together for years, you clearly understand him better than I ever will.” Eve relaxes, accepting her tea from the server with a soft smile. “I only meant to suggest that Flynn has caused me heartbreak. I thought perhaps he had done the same to you, but if you’re fondly recounting memories of him, that’s clearly not the case. But… it does have to do with him, doesn’t it? You can’t even say his name.” 

Eve exhales, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “If I say his name,” she says finally, “it only reminds me of all the times I’ve shouted it, watching him walk towards death with that look in his eye.” She’s speaking that she’s somewhere else, doing just that. “You know the one,” she adds, eyes glazing over. “The one where he’s so sure that all his years of throwing himself at danger has finally caught up with him.”

Nicole straightens. “You told me on that plane that Flynn was alright,” she says sharply.

Eve nods. “I wouldn’t lie to you,” she replies.

“Then what’s the problem? Is it his recklessness?” Nicole shakes her head. “Because he’s always going to be a hero, Eve. Just like you, and me, and all your other little charges.”

Eve swallows. “I’m going to outlive him,” she admits, voice breaking slightly. She breathes in and out slowly. 

Nicole tilts her head. “Perhaps…” she says like she’s deep in thought. “That’s often the way with Librarians and Guardians. But… no - you’re certain,” she realizes.

Eve nods, eyes watering. “There’s a prophecy. The Library gave it to me.” 

Nicole curses, leaning forward. Her hands come up to grasp the table, and one of her utensils falls when the table shifts. Neither of them move to pick it up. “When? How?”

Eve shrugs, but the deadened look in her eyes undermines the casual movement. “All I know is that I am the last Guardian that will tether, and I will be alone at the end. He could…” She stops, bracing herself. “He could die  _ centuries _ before me.” 

Nicole holds up a hand. “Give me a moment,” she says quietly, eyes glazed over in thought. She bends over and picks up the fork on the ground, turning it around and around in her hands. Eve just waits, swallowing past the lump in her throat and focusing on her tea. 

“You’re afraid you’ll turn into me, aren’t you?” Nicole finally asks, eyes piercing. Eve presses her lips together; it’s not an answer, but it is. “Alone. Bitter. Betraying my closest-held tenets.”

“You’re nothing like that,” Eve argues.

Nicole just looks at her. “I’m not an idiot either. When Flynn came to say goodbye, to tell me what I had to do, it wasn’t hard to figure out.” She sighs. “I was evil - I tried to hurt the Library for sending me back and giving me all those years alone.”

Eve’s eyes widen, then she reaches out in sympathy, placing a hand over Nicole’s on the table. “Nicole…” She says softly.

“I’ve lived for centuries - terrified of a moment where I would turn on the Library,” she continues. “It’s horribly painful, knowing that there is a future where you hurt the ones you love.”   
  
“That’s not you, Nicole,” Eve says fiercely, the certainty in her voice washing over Nicole like a warm wave. “You’re a good person, and a great friend of the Library.”

Nicole turns her hand under Eve’s, grasping it tightly. “You are a truly phenomenal Guardian, Eve Baird,” she says. “One only needs to meet you to see that. But do you know what I realized, after all my suffering? My vigilance toward my own fears protected me from those very fears. I did not turn against the Library because I was so afraid of turning against the Library.”

Eve sighs. “I see what you’re trying to do.”

Nicole ignores her comment, pressing on. “The Library has a purpose. It always does. You might not be able to see it now, but it would not do this only to break your heart.” 

“I’m sure you’re right, but that doesn’t fix the fact I’m afraid to see my own Librarian. I can’t tell him this - not so soon after he promised never to leave me.”

“That’s bullshit, Baird. You know that the only person who can truly make this better is your Librarian. Trust in him.”

“ _ I can’t even say his name! _ ” Eve half explodes, lowering her voice when the table next to them looks over curiously. “Every time I close my eyes, I see him dying,” she whispers furiously. “I see myself. Alone. No Librarians. No Caretaker. No friends. I can’t do this job without them.”

“You will do this job _ because _ of them,” Nicole retorts, and Eve quiets. “Don’t you see, Guardian? You will do this job because after a while, every innocent child will remind you of your lost family. Every grumpy old man walking past you in the street will remind you of Jenkins. And every dark haired man with a bounce in his step will remind you of the man you love.”

Eve shakes her head. “How can I live like that?”

“ _ I _ did,” Nicole points out. “Flynn lost me - his mother - then Charlene and Judson. It likely turned him into a shell of a person for a while but he never gave up on the Library. I spent four hundred years alone. I never gave up on the Library. You’re stronger than both of us - or at least the Library must think so. What makes this different?”

“It’s different,” she replied fiercely, choking back tears. “It’s - it’s him and me, and I’ll…. I’ll…  _ I’ll miss him so much _ ,” The words come out muffled and broken, and Eve’s gaze falls to her lap as she desperately attempts to gather herself. 

_ And here is the root of it _ , Nicole thinks, a knowing sort of sadness filling her. Eve Baird is clearly not a coward - and certainly not the kind to run away from her problems instead of facing them. There is a more concentrated problem here, and Eve has finally let her see it. Her immortal heart swells, and she leaves her chair and wraps her arms around Eve as she shakes. “This is grief, Eve,” she whispers. “And it’s been a long time coming.”

“I swore an oath to the Library,” Eve says finally, voice raspy. “I’m not giving up on it, even if I am the last person on earth who believes in it.” There is a striking truth to those words, and Nicole wonders not for the first time the details of that other timeline. “It didn’t feel right to grieve,” she admits. “He’s still alive and healthy and immortal, and I didn’t want to blubber over him like a child. So I got angry instead.”

Nicole leaves a few bills on the table, wrapping her arm around Eve’s and leading her out to the sidewalk. “You live in a world of magic and misery,” Nicole replies softly. “Your emotions won’t always make sense, but from what I understand, Flynn has trusted you with his for years now. He has opened up to you when it’s difficult and wrong and embarrassing. You know that he deserves the same courtesy.”

“I’ll pack tonight,” Eve says, exhausted. “Get a door in a few days. For now, I need to be alone.” She pauses, turning to wrap Nicole in a tight hug. “Thank you,” she says. “And if immortality ever gets too difficult, you better call me. Or him. We’re here for you.” 

“Any time,” Nicole hums, squeezing Eve’s hands before leaving her. Once she’s out of earshot, she sighs. “It’s up to you now, Librarian,” she whispers, hoping somewhere, somehow, Flynn hears her. 

-

Flynn looks up at the townhouse, then back down at the address scrawled across the paper in his hand. There is no bounce to step, no wild gesticulation. Instead, his eyes narrow, their characteristic playfulness gone. His shoulders square, and he raps his knuckles once against the heavy door. 

This is no war he is embarking on - no game, no puzzle, no riddle. This is not something he can win.

He tenses as the doorknob turns, struck with a horrific realization.  
  
Though this isn’t something he can win, this is most definitely something that he can  _ lose.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i worried a little about losing you guys with cassie's envy - please understand i love her too! i just really thought they dropped the ball in the later seasons with her arc, so i wanted to have a subplot in this fic about her trying to find her place in the group. all three of the lits are (understandably) a little irritated with fleve does their thing and keeps them in the dark, but i can see it striking cassie a little harder. ezekiel's there to help though!
> 
> ooooh what do you think flynn's going to say to get eve to return?


	7. chapter vi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for some reason i really struggled with this chapter, so like half of it i love and half of it i don't. 
> 
> BUT regardless i hope you enjoy! there aren't enough complete multichapter plotty evlynn fics, so i'm glad to bring you guys this one.

The door opens, and he comes face to face with his Guardian. The rest of the world fades away as his clever eyes scan her in an instant. She is pale, less toned. No make-up, hair in a messy bun, but he likes her like this. Only he ever gets to see her like this. 

“Flynn?” She asks, her eyes looking everywhere but his face. Her lower lip wobbles. “What are you doing here?”

There’s no words for why he’s here. He loves her - he wants her back - but these seem too small for how much he’s missed her. “This,” Flynn murmurs, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her gently. He steps forward as he does, wordlessly urging her back as he kicks the door closed behind them. He keeps his touch light; if she doesn't want to be kissed, she can easily push him back. 

It turns out to be unnecessary. Eve kisses him back furiously, arms shaking as they wrap around his back. They stumble back against a wall, and Flynn releases her face so he can brace himself against it as he leans over her, kissing all the while. He’s not sure how long they stand there, pressed together, but when she pushes him back, he goes without protest. 

“Why are you here?” She repeats, tipping her head back against the wall as she catches her breath. Flynn watches her, hands on either side of her head as he tries to calm his rapidly beating heart. 

“You and me, Eve,” he replies, and it’s the best answer he has. “I promised.  _ You _ promised. You’d come after me because I’m your Librarian, so you can bet I’m coming after you because you’re my Guardian.”

Eve pulls him back in for another kiss, and he’s reminded that she must have missed him just as much, the way he missed her all those times he was the one who ran. His arms fall from the wall to wrap around her waist. “There’s something I have to tell you,” she says against his mouth, and the pain in her expression makes him tighten his arms around her. “If you want to be angry with me after, it’s okay.”

He pulls back slightly, pressing several more gentle kisses to her lips to quiet her. “Honey, I already know,” he murmurs, diving in for a deeper kiss, tracing her lips with his tongue as he fills the void the lack of her had left. It feels real - the hole in his heart. He knows because right now, he feels so full, and he’s terrified of losing that feeling. Terrified that all the intelligence and logic in the world won’t be enough to convince her to stay with him. “I know, it’s okay,” he repeats, afraid to pull away. The heat of her body is keeping him together. 

At his words, she stiffens. He lets her go, but his eyes stay glued to hers, barely blinking. “How?” She demands, searching his expression.

He shrugs. “I’ll happily tell you all the details of how clever your Librarians are later, but for now, it’s enough that I know.” He swallows, trying to inject every bit of his honesty into his face. “And I don’t care.” 

Eve pushes him off her, stumbling away. “I - how?” She repeats, sounding like a broken record.

He smiles, something tragic and warm in the curve of his mouth. “I’ll be with you, won’t I?” He asks lightly, though his eyes are solemn on hers. “In sickness and in health, in life and beyond. How can I not be okay when I’m with you?” Anyone else, and those words would feel cheap or baseless. But between them, the pain is honest and real. To know how loving someone will end, especially for them, after all they’ve been through… it tears through Eve’s heart. It’s clear in the way Flynn speaks that he is coming from the same heart wrenching place. 

It’s too much, and Eve shakes her head. It’s not her usual single, sharp movement. It’s more lost, more listless as she tries to understand what he’s saying. “No - that’s - no. You’ll be gone, and I’ll be alone. You’ll be…” she trails off, her voice breaking. “I can’t do this,” she admits, turning away. “Nicole was wrong - I need more time.” She takes one look at him, like a deer in headlights, before making for the door. 

But though Flynn is nowhere near as strong as her, he is faster. He meets her halfway, latching onto her wrist. “I know I have no right to ask you not to run,” he pleads. “But I’m a selfish man, and a Librarian who needs his Guardian, and -” here his voice breaks, lowers, and she shivers - “a husband who needs his wife, so  _ please _ Eve.  _ Don’t run _ .”

At those words, Eve breaks down, tears streaming down her cheeks as he does his best to stop her. “I’ll be alone,” she sobs. “You gave me a family - a purpose, and you’re going to make me lose it.” 

He’s not sure whether she’s talking to him or the Library, but it doesn’t change his answer. “Don’t think about that,” Flynn argues, crowding her, cupping her face in his hands. “Think of me. Focus on me.” He tries desperately to keep his tone steady and strong. To keep from pushing him away. 

“I can’t,” she anguishes. “You’re going to leave me.” 

_ Okay,  _ he thinks,  _ this is it, Flynn. Don’t mess this up.  _ “Hey,” he says aloud, “no, hey, look at me.  _ Eve. Look at me. _ ” And she does, gazing at him through tear-soaked lashes. “You know what our future looks like?” She starts to nod, but he holds her head steady between his palms. “No, you don’t. It’s not death. It’s not the apocalypse. At least, not every day. It’s you and me, waking up together. It’s coffee and bagels and Librarians and Guardians. It’s date nights and team work and those missions where we don’t even need to speak because we’re so in sync.” He pauses, out of breath. “It’s late night research where you call me to bed, and late night sparring where I make bad sword puns and you let me seduce you because you secretly love them.” She breathes out a wet laugh, and he gains momentum. “It’s never letting a day go by without telling you how much I love you. Because I do, Eve. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she murmurs, letting her forehead fall against his. Her body relaxes, and he un-tenses as well. She’s not going to leave. He did it. He hopes he did it. 

“We’ll have all of that. Every day,” he promises. “And when…  _ if _ … one day, you have to let me go… Well, that’s not just a curse of immortality. That’s what it is to be mortal, too.” He pauses, dark eyes hard on hers. “We’re going to have centuries together, Eve Baird. There’s no takebacks. Every century of yours is  _ mine _ .”

She shivers at his words before throwing herself into his arms. He hugs her back hard. “I’m sorry,” she half whispers, half sobs. “You’re right, I’m sorry, I love you.” 

He hushes her, smoothing down her hair, pulling it from its bun as he runs his fingers through it. “Don’t be sorry,” he replies. “I’m glad I could help.” 

Eve shakes her head against his neck. “It’s not your job to save me,” she says. Her tone is pained, and she cuddles the best she can against him.

Flynn scoffs. “With all due respect to Jenkins, his little circular model is outdated,” he argues fiercely against her ear. “All three of us are in this together. You and the Library saved me from Nicole. You and I save the Library every day. Who do you think helped me find you? Let the Library and I do the saving for once.” His eyes narrow. “Though we’ll be having words with Ray about his manipulations once we return.” 

Eve pulls back, eyes dark and focused on him. “Yes we will,” she agrees, before softening. “But right now, there’s a bedroom upstairs, no Librarians running around, and no crisis, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to focus on… us, right now.” 

Flynn grins. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard in weeks,” he says, kissing her hard as they stumble their way up the stairs. 

-

Flynn wakes in the middle of the night to the feeling of being watched. He rolls over, meeting Eve’s eyes in the dark.

“Okay?” She asks him, low and earnest in that way of hers, the way that makes him want to spill everything. There’s no expectations left here in this bed, between them, and he knows he can be honest.

“Better,” he says, smiling softly when her eyes narrow. He throws a long arm over her waist, tugging her closer so their noses are brushing. “I didn’t know if you’d come back,” he admits, watching as a series of expressions - worry, guilt, fondness - flash across Eve’s face before she settles on a blank mask. He knows she is waiting for him to clarify. “I’m still worried that you don’t feel the way that I feel.”

“I love you,” she says immediately.

He grins, a silly, wide smile that is typical whenever she says those words. “I love you too,” he assures her, “but that’s not what I mean.” 

She reaches up, tracing his lips with her fingertips before sliding her hand back into his messy hair. “Go on,” she encourages, smiling a little when his eyes flutter at the sensation she is causing. 

“Eve, I hope you know I’d happily die a horrible, painful death if it meant I got to spend the time before it with you,” he says in a rush, watching her expression carefully. 

Her smile falters, but she just shakes her head, lowering her hand to squeeze the arm around her waist. “That’s not an image I want in my head,” she replies, “but I’m not wasting another minute. That doesn’t mean that you can be reckless, okay? We have a lot of living to do, and I don’t want to lose you. And if that day comes, I’ll fight it.”

Flynn rolls onto his back, gathering her closer. She lays her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “The hardest thing in the world is to live in it,” he says finally, and she’s been around him for enough years to know the inflection of his voice means he is quoting someone.

Eve yawns. “Aristotle?”

“No, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

She giggles softly, no longer fighting the pull of sleep. “Dork,” she accuses playfully.

He settles into the pillow. “You love it,” he says, and that’s the last thing she hears before she falls asleep in his arms once more. 

-

When they fall through the Door the next day, the Librarians fall over themselves to greet her. Even Ezekiel hugs her tightly, and she accepts them all gratefully, happy to see her family. 

Before they had returned, Eve had told Flynn that she would not ask after them immediately, and instead wait for them to come to her. After seeing their anxious expressions, she only keeps that promise for about two minutes. “How are you three? Be honest,” she says, arching an eyebrow at them. Flynn is still clinging to her like an octopus, but she lets him. He deserves a little security. 

Jake shrugs. “We’ve been talking. A lot.”

Ezekiel scoffs. “Yeah, lots of feelings going around,” he adds in disgust, but Eve can see the little smile at the corner of his mouth. 

Eve nods slowly. “Riiight. Guess you don’t need me anymore, then?” She teases.

The two boys grin at the joke, but Cassandra looks very concerned. She darts forward, hugging Eve again tightly around the waist. “No!” She yelps. “There’s a  _ lot _ I need to talk to you about.”

Ezekiel steps forward. “Wait! No, there’s a lot  _ I  _ need to talk to her about!”   


Jake stays back. “Hey, I was the one who Flynn yelled at,” he adds. “I think I should go first.”

Eve spins around, staring at her Librarian who looks like a deer in headlights gazing back up at her. “You  _ yelled _ ?” 

Flynn gulps under her scrutiny. “He yelled back!” 

Eve fights the urge to roll her eyes. “Okay, okay, we’ll all talk this week, promise,” she says. “No arguing like kindergartners though. Sometimes I can’t believe you four are the smartest people in the world.”

“You should talk to Flynn first,” Cassandra says quietly. “He missed you a lot.” Ezekiel and Jake nod, smiling softly. Eve doesn’t miss the covert fist bump Ezekiel gives Cassandra in return for her words. That’s definitely going to be something she’s talking to them both about. 

She waits for Flynn to pull her up to their apartment, but to her surprise, he doesn’t move. “I don’t know,” he muses. “I think I owe Cassandra a drink for her exemplary research skills. Stone, why don’t you go grab some beers from the fridge? Jenkins, Jones, and I found this new room in the Library you’re going to  _ love _ , honey. We had to steal back the Silver River from the Celestial Queen Mother - Ezekiel turned into a buffalo for a few hours-” 

“What-”

“Anyways, the Library helped us find the Hall of Textiles to store it, and it’s great. There are pillows everywhere.” 

Ezekiel and Jenkins lead the way, with Flynn and Eve bringing up the rear while Cassie and Jake handle the drinks. 

Eve hooks her hand into Flynn’s arm. “I think they’d understand if you wanted some alone time,” she says quietly.

“I do,” he says lowly, flashing her a loving smile. “I always want to be alone with you.” He winks, before turning more serious. “But family’s important too, right?”

She can’t help it. She swings around, kissing him hard on the mouth.

She ignores the gagging noises coming from Ezekiel’s direction. Family is important, but kissing her Librarian-husband-soulmate when he displays emotional maturity is equally so. 

-

Two days after she returns, Eve slips out of Flynn’s arms in the early hours of the morning. He releases her after a brief moment of tightening his embrace, and the movement makes her jot a quick note to him about an early workout. She doesn’t want to scare him. 

She pulls on her running bra and tights before exiting the Annex, hands weaving her hair into a tight French braid. She runs hard and long, only stopping when the sun lights up the sky in a hazy pink. 

She grabs a towel and an oversized NATO sweatshirt from her desk. A change of clothes is always stored there, and it’s nice to wear the soft hoodie after she forgot it when she had run. She considers going back up to the apartment, but she’s been itching to be in the Library alone since she had returned. The others, especially Flynn, have hardly let her out of their sight. She knows it will take awhile for the trust to return, so she tries to be patient with them. 

So she takes the towel down to the main Library, not really sure what she wants but ready to be surrounded by the stacks once more. She pauses at the top of the steps, breathing deep, before she takes one step, then two. Then she pauses, unsure if she really wants to go any further. Sweat drips from her skin as she towels off. The Library is lit, but with lowlights, creating a smaller, homier atmosphere. She thinks she knows why. 

Any other time, she would sit. Relax in the quiet, familiar space. But that feels wrong. She hates that the Library feels like a hostile, but she knows that will never change unless she faces it. And while Flynn and her have already talked to the empty space as a team, if she has learned anything, it’s that the Library and she have to be okay on their own. “I know what you’re doing,” she says quietly, dropping the towel to her feet. 

“It’s nervous,” a familiar voice says behind her. Charlene steps down onto the same step, ghostly and shimmering. Neither of them look at the other, instead gazing out over the entity they both are sworn to protect. “Can you blame it?”

Eve looks thoughtful, before her expression hardens into something both understanding and firm. “I’m not sorry,” she calls out, ignoring Charlene. “Whatever you intended, that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t kind.” 

“The Library is not meant to be kind,” Charlene interjects. 

“I need kindness,” Eve continues, still not directly addressing the ghost next to her. “Flynn and I - and the others - we protect you every day.” She pauses. “You were right, you know,” she concedes. “I tethered for Flynn. Because I love him. More than anything - more than magic, more than this job, more than learning. Losing him… it  _ terrifies _ me. I’m going to be a mess when it happens.” She pauses, voice shaking, raising her head to pin the Library with a tearful gaze. “I’m going to need you,” she explains, taking slow steps down the stairs. She keeps her hands open at her sides. “We have to rely on each other - no manipulations, no running away.” She drops her gaze when she reaches the bottom of the steps. Charlene stays quiet behind her. 

Suddenly, Ray appears in his usual beam of light, and Eve tries not to flinch at its brilliance. It reaches forward, taking her by the shoulders. “You have me, Eve Baird. You are my Guardian. Flynn Carsen is my Heart, but you are my Soul. You are the Soul of us all.” 

Eve exhales slowly, and in a movement too quick to follow, she hugs Ray tightly. 

“I know what you wanted to do,” she says in its ear. “I get it. But if you ever manipulate me like that again, I will figure out a way to kick your ass,” she warns. 

Ray is quiet, then: “Okay.” It’s a small concession, but for some reason, Eve feels as though she’s won a war. The solidity of Ray disappears in her arms, and she makes her way back up the stairs with her shoulders lowered and her breathing even. 

She pauses next to Charlene. “I’ve appreciated your help the past few months,” she says. Charlene gives a nearly imperceptible nod. “But,” she continues, looking in the direction of where she knows Flynn and Jenkins are likely in the process of making breakfast, “if you refuse to appear to Flynn and Jenkins, I don’t want it. It will only make them bitter, and that’s not good for the Library.” She looks over when she finishes speaking, but Charlene is already gone. She sighs; she knows it was the right ultimatum to make, but she also hates the idea that Charlene is alone in the mirror realm. Hopefully, Judson is somewhere out there for her. 

“Everything okay?”   


She looks up to see Flynn peeking his head around the door, his brows furrowed and his head tilted. 

She joins him at the entrance of the Library and presses a kiss to his cheek, enjoying the way his eyes soften at her affection. She pushes any thoughts of the future away, instead imagining Jenkins’ breakfast croissants and the latte that Stone will sneak in for her in lieu of tea. She thinks of Cassie and Ezekiel bent over their research. She thinks of Nicole, half a world away, with Eve’s number in her phone and an invitation to Christmas. She thinks of Flynn and the way he’ll look on the mission today, bright and brilliant and curious to a fault as he saves the world at her side. 

“Yes,” she replies, and she means it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks everyone for reading! as always, please drop a comment if you enjoyed <3

**Author's Note:**

> feat. me, turning a family show into ANGST.
> 
> in the show, i don't think we ever find out how tethering got brought up, we just assumed it was jenkins. this is me, breaking that assumption. 
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed, and please comment if you like and want me to continue! <3


End file.
